A Question in Life

2002-12-13T04:21:00.000-05:00

Hiatus

I'm going home tomorrow! I'll try to post every so often till i return (if i do), but meanwhile, consider me on hiatus!

Tata all~

And thanks guys for the excellent party last night

I'll be back before u know it!

2002-12-11T04:15:00.000-05:00

Amazing

My life, 3 years ago, as summed up in this particular comic strip:

Max and Lily

That was after a bad break up with one of the people i was dating for a while

2002-12-10T08:11:00.000-05:00

This Tops It All

Just had the weirdest night teaching my little cousin about the birds and the bees. Except my little young cousin is a 14 year old walking ball of raging hormones, and only wanted to know about the bees.

Since he's the only gay cousin i have, and i'm the only one who can hold a conversation with him about topics in gay culture, he somehow came to the conclusion that i would be the best person to explain to him how gay men have sex.

It's a bit hard for him to get porn vcds on gay sex in Malaysia cause first of all, he lives in Ipoh, which is a bit rural, and second of all, because porn is illegal here. And if caught surfing pron websites, it seems you could get your internet line disconnected. AND gay people just aren't that common in Ipoh.

I never want to go through that again.

In fact, next time i'll just toss him into an orgy, he'll learn fast enough.

I had to tell him everything i knew. Everything. Condoms. Dental dams. Loosening up the ass. Rimjobs. Fingering. Orgies. Fuck Buds. Whatever. Well...to tell the truth i didn't tell him eeeeeverything.... But enough. He'll learn. To top it off, I had to teach him skincare too.

By the time he hits 16 he should be an expert. He has a very rational/scientific way of thinking. Once he accepted his homosexuality, he wanted to know every fucking thing about it so, in his own words, he'd be ready.

I feel like a scapegoat/ victim/ sacrificial lamb.

I ~~want~~ need a drink.

Now.

2002-12-08T01:20:00.000-05:00

Rip Off

It's Hari Raya over here in Malaysia, a festive season the Muslims celebrate. So there will be open house parties. And with attendance to these parties, there will be the pre-requisite gifts to bring along.

Guess what we bring? No, really just guess. What would you bring? Cause we bring figs, and i'm not so sure how normal that is.

Of course if you look at it as bringing fruits as a gift it sounds tons better.

But figs?

And figs, each individually decorated in delicate wrapping, and set in a velvet casing too at that. It's something i will never understand. James' parents brought the same thing too, as did many other guests, so it must be normal...but figs?

These bloody figs cost around RM400. That's roughly converted, around 400 coca cola canned drinks. There are maybe a dozen figs in the velvet case.

You could buy sacks and sacks and sacks, in fact, you could probably clean out an entire fruit shop of their figs with RM400.

I don't mean to sound like a tightwad i understand some things are in the name of Hari Raya, but this is starting to feel as over-hyped as Christmas shopping. Or are we just being ripped-offed here for looking like tourists? I really would like to know.

2002-12-06T06:52:00.000-05:00

Me? Attitude? Oh Really?

I've been told i have an attitude problem. Really? How's that?

I don't give a shit what people think about me.

I can stand up for myself I don't need help.

I don't care what anyone has done.

What matters is who they are.

I speak my mind.

I do what i want.

I date who i want.

I wear whatever i want.

I don't care about my culture?

That's due to a varied ancestry.

It's sort of hard to keep track of them.

English-Greek-American, Punjabi-Italian.

You try living all those cultures. In one life.

I will spend my money on my own choices.

You ask me a question and you get the truth.

So, honestly, if you can't handle truth, don't ask .

I don't like fast food i don't like television i don't like pop. So?

I speak with an accent. Oh and that makes me a snob, apparently.

Cross your mind that's cause i've spent more years in America than Malaysia?

I don't give salesmen with donation boxes money. And I don't care who's apparently dying.

I'll rather do charity with established, licensed associations, alright? Not people with photographs.

I will verbally attack anyone who ticks me off. I will be very good at it. Don't take me on if you aren't.

The only people who possibly don't apply to all of the above are my parents. For obvious, and strangely cultural, reasons of respect and love for them. And because honestly, i put them through enough shock recently to last them throughout the rest of their lives.

So if i don't call u mom or dad, smarten up, and don't piss me off.

2002-12-02T22:39:00.000-05:00

Photo Time

Mom: Oh that's a lovely photo. Are those your friends?

Me : *Thinks to self- 'Oh Shit"*....Oh yeah mom yeah..

Mom: That's quite a good looking young man. Are you...Why don't you...

Me : I did mom. He's Kendrik. The guy you read about on the internet.

Pause.

Mom: Right. Oh- She looks like a nice young woman.

Me : Yeah...he's really nice to talk to. Rubies remember? The one who stayed with me few years back

Another pause while mother realises my ex-roommate is biologically male.

Mom: *still trying* The girl next to you, she must be Lis, your good friend! Is she seeing anyone yet?

Me : Ummm....sure, yeah..*thinks to self- your daughter.*

I'm kissing her on the cheek in the photo. And have my arm around her. Please, God, now is not the time for her to realise exactly what my hand is doing there.

Mom: Someone in this picture?

Me : *time for topic change* Oh she used to date this guy! Reade!

Mom: Oh what a coincidence! You used to date someone called...called...too..

Pause.

Mom:Well I suppose that could be expected, since you share the same circle of friends.

Me :Right.

Mom: And is that Dylan? My, his hair has grown...I remember when you two used to date.

Me :Yeah...The person he's dating prefers him that way.

Mom:Really? Who? Do i know her?

Me :Umm...That will be a yes. Rubies.

Pause.

Me :RIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCC GET OVER HERE!!!

Ric pops over

Ric :What? *sees photos*...Oh.

Mom :Am I missing something here?

Yes. My silent plea for help.

Ric :MoOoooOoomm...Jessie's dated everyone in that photo.

Me :What? No No No Mom That's Not True!

I didn't date Rubies, so i'm not exactly lying. There are like 12 people in that damn photo.

Ric :*grin* I was just kidding.

Die useless bastard die.I hate photo time.

2002-12-02T04:42:00.000-05:00

Social Bugs #1

Want to gain attention? Just some socialising tactics i've come to notice among malaysians i thought i'd share:

The Focus Tactic:

The focus tactic is done this way. First be in familiar territory, whereby it's likely someone you know will come along, like in your college. Find your target. The purpose of this tactic is to make her aware that she does want your attention after all. This tactic only works if she's alone, and preferably stationary. ie: not heading off to the cafeteria to look for her friends.

Slither, i mean slide, up to your target. Engage her in conversation. As the name of the tactic suggests, focus completely on her, but not in a creepy way. Talk about everything and anything under the sun, the topic doesn't necessary have to be about her as long as you have her attention. Make sure she's really into the conversation (charming creature that you are i'm sure you do have some capability of holding your own in a conversation, right?). Of course, make sure you do Not sound like a gibbering airhead talking about irrelevant things like how much water a balloon can hold.

The moment someone else, preferably someone your target can regard as competition comes along, completely turn your attention around to competition. Introduce competition and target, so target won't leave so easily. Employ focus tactic on competition this time, but only for a while. Don't look in target's direction for as long as you can without appearing too rude, merely so much more interested in the competition's company and what she has to say.

Now you aren't looking over at your target, but if you're good enough at this, she should be feeling slightly left out, but not miffed, because after all you were just approaching her as a friend and not as a potential date. She might not know what to do asides from sit there slightly awkward, waiting for you to get back to her. If you refer to her every so often while talking to competition, she can't exactly not pay attention to your conversation, otherwise she'll be aware she looks socially inept. On the other hand, if she doesn't do something else, she'll feel socially inept unless she can jump into the conversation. The whole point of making sure the target isn't heading off to the cafeteria in the first place is solely because of this part. You do not want her to say: Okay then, i guess i'll be on my way now.

Either way, unless she's very sociable and can find her way out of this situation, sooner or later she'd want you to give her a lil more attention. I've seen this tactic being used. Most of the time they even arrange that i'll walk by at a certain time to intimidate by being the competition.

It's a cheap tactic, and mainly used by guys who aren't seen as anything beyond that helpful classmate by the target girl. The target girl will eventually end up being aware that for a while, she wanted his attention. Which guys usually hope will help up them a little on her social ladder. It usually doesn't work, and effects are mostly temporary so they have to work fast and be good at it, but do they know that? ;)

Actually, i posted up this tactic so girls here will be aware of it. Honestly the amount of girls that have fallen for it is ridiculous. Tactic does not work as well, or as obviously, on guys. This being a social tactic means whoever tries to employ it is a bit of a slime. Of course, this slime had better have the social skills to deal with any unexpected circumstances that might arise. As they say, Go with the flow.

And no, i don't use this tactic (couldn't you tell?).

2002-11-29T11:05:00.000-05:00

There'll Be Sad Songs

Malaysians must be quite a chirpy lot then. Hardly anyone seems to know any of the classic 'sad songs'. Most people know REM- Everybody Hurts, Eric Clapton- Tears in Heaven, Sarah McLachlan- I Will Remember You, but i still haven't met anyone else who knows the mother of all sad songs- Gloomy Sunday. A lot of singers have covered the songs, originally written in Hungarian, including Sarah McLachlan, Sinead O' Connor, Sarah Brightman and Billie Holiday. Needless to say, they didn't sing in Hungarian. But I'm sure my dear readers can logically deduct that right?

Many suicides have been linked to this song. Apparently the writer commited suicide. I wouldn't know anything about that. But i do know it's a damned shame so many people do not know about this song. Here I present the lyrics as loosely translated from the original Hungarian version, before it got jazzed up by all the covers:

Sunday is gloomy, my hours are slumberless.

Dearest, the shadows I live with are numberless.

Little white flowers will never awaken you,

Not where the black coach of sorrow has taken you.

Angels have no thought of ever returning you.

Would they be angry if I thought of joining you?

Gloomy Sunday.

Gloomy is Sunday; with shadows I spend it all.

My heart and I have decided to end it all.

Soon there'll be candles and prayers that are sad, I know.

Death is no dream, for in death I'm caressing you.

With the last breath of my soul I'll be blessing you.

Gloomy Sunday.

Signing off with a picture of Sinead O' Connor. Get the message James?

2002-11-29T10:31:00.000-05:00

Yow

Dzejla Glavovic. Winner of Ms. Earth 2002. Need i say more?

2002-11-29T08:07:00.000-05:00

Kiasu

Malaysians like to use one word in particular to describe that particular breed of people who don't sharpen their pencils so it lasts longer. That particular breed that eats every pathetic morsel they can get off the buffet table because they paid to eat all they can. That particular breed whose kids started talking/ walking/ spelling before your kid did. The word? Kiasu.

Kiasu is a chinese word in the hokkien dialect which means "scared to lose". It means they have to juice all the advantages they can out of every situation. Their cars must be bigger, shinier, and best of all, pricier. Their clothes must be Armani among the Gap. They want the Tags amongst the Swatches. Their kids have better grades than yours. Their house is better. Or so they try.

If you obviously outclass someone who is kiasu, regardless of what you wear or own, beware. Spite will inevitably follow. They will nitpick. You're prettier? You must be anorexic. You eat in front of them? Then you must be bulimic. You don't leave them for that suspicious 5 minutes where you could have thrown up within 2 hours of eating? You're acting. Or you've had plastic surgery. Or you're too lucky and don't deserve it and anyone with your resources like say, the kiasu person's daughter, would have done so much better in life. And not only that, you'll probably marry someone who's only after your family money.

Around kiasu people, the best solution is not to retaliate, but just dwell in that lovely glow you get sitting among people you know you surpass in everything they wish you didn't. They will say something to maybe hint you're anorexic like "oh it's so nice of you to have dinner with us it must be nice to eat once in a while". Let them. They will get a satisfied look that will eventually fade to disgruntlement as they realise that not only is it not working, no one gives a shit except to think to themselves what a crass comment, and you emerge the winner above it all in your saintly halo of patient self righteousness.

Tomorrow, the gossip will spread. With each phone call comes an opportunity for spiteful and wronged housewives to get their own back at the kiasu ones. By next week, you will be the nice girl who dined with a couple of crass kiasu asses. This should help negate the gossip that initially spread when during the 9th when you yelled at some woman who mistreated her maids. People will think gee, that must have been exaggerated. She handled the dinner rather well.

Bask in ensuing result of better overall image. Oh fickle society, if only you knew how i toy with you.

2002-11-27T07:52:00.000-05:00

Circus Act

I learned how to juggle today (sort of). I'm great at multi-tasking and body co-ordination so i thougt, hey no problem right? My big fat mouth.

I started off with those lil cushioned square stuff thingamajigs. Throwing each into the air one by one was simple. Catchng them was the problem. Especially since half of them landed on my head.

My friends decide i need extra motivation. The safe lil cushions are replaced by eggs. I get much better, of course. The eggs land all over my dear friend's hush puppy shoes *snicker*

Four badly aimed eggs later, my friends decide that i've had enough extra motivation. We move back to the normal ones. Somehow, i manage to throw one straight into my nose and while my friend was laughing and pointing one more just, for reasons unknown *ahem*, ended up in his eye.

But the day wasn't totally wasted. I can juggle in circles up to 4 now. and i can do mild sorta funny looking loops with 3. And i've found out i have a pretty good aim too! Hah! Right in the eye!

2002-11-26T06:14:00.000-05:00

Top 10 Biggest Shopping Complaints

1. Rude sales people. Says it all really, but i'll continue anyway! For example, that particular breed of chinese salesmen who think making a sale requires brash, hard sell approaches and loud chinese accents. I walk out of shops that set those salesmen on me. Try the nokia shops around if you don't believe me. honestly. They should be eradicated from the gene pool.

2. They don't have my size! I'm really tall compared to other malaysians, being only around an inch away from being a 6 footer. I can't get outfits that are the proper length sometimes. And the styles i like to wear aren't really sold here either. Which, upon reflection might be a good thing since i'm now living with my parents.

3. Spending good money on something then finding out the price is actually much higher than it should be because everyone else is buying fake made-in-thailand versions in chinatown.

4. Sorry mam, we do not accept credit cards *smile*.

5. Salespeople who guess your dress size, and invariably increases it by two dress sizes.

6. *ahem*. Miss, i'm afraid i'll have to check your handbag. And no, you can't buy our sales clerk.

7. You know when you're shopping with your girlfriends, you need a break and decide to settle down at a nice salad bar for some fruit juice and salads? There isn't a single goddamned proper salad bar in malaysia. don't bother looking.

8. All those Hello Kitty shops i have to pass by when i'm shopping.

9. I can't find brussel sprouts, avocado, and all the other stuff i put in sandwiches. No one understands my sandwiches but that's besides the goddamned point.

10. Nothing that is genetically engineered here is labelled. I'm vegetarian once a month but only for health reasons so i don't mind as much but my vegan friends do not appreciate that they could be eating tomatoes with fish genes in them.

Questions taken from Daily Dose

2002-11-26T04:59:00.000-05:00

That's Why My Eyes Were All Red...But No One Believes Me (Duh)

I've been watching this video of Ellen Feiss advertising for switching to mac over, and over again, and i still haven't stopped laughing! She reminds me so much of those stoned out lil sisters my friends have. Here's an excerpt of an interview she did:

Daily Herald: Does it bother you at all that some of your fame might be related to your perceived state of sobriety in the commercial?

Ellen Feiss: It doesn’t really bother me. I do admit to looking pretty out of it in that commercial — I think I look horrible. It was after school, but I was the last person to make the commercial, so by the time I made it it was like 10, so I was really tired. The funny thing was, I was on drugs! I was on Benedryl, my allergy medication, so I was really out of it anyway. That’s why my eyes were all red, because I have seasonal allergies. But no one believes me.

Truth be told, she might have been one of those typical teenagers with what appears to be a low iq everytime they open their mouths to speak, but it's so much more fun to think of her as a drugged out gal! The whole internet seems to be humping her leg. Well said!

Go on then. Watch the hilarious clip where she goes and i was like......hmrrmh?, and then seductively touch herself (her face! her face! what were u thinking then? *smack*) and then wait for that long silence when she searches for the word bummer. I feel like saying dude everytime i hear bummer. Must be some leftover habits we picked up making fun of stoners when we were bonging our hearts out too.

2002-11-25T11:10:00.000-05:00

Vaffanculo.

I could do this the childish way, and go out to party all night, do loads of drugs, get totally wasted and end the night in someone else's bed. Or i could be mature and distract myself by shopping and clubbing with overprotective cousins who have sworn to decapitate whoever it was who handed me my first joint, while slowly plotting revenge. It all depends on how i feel i suppose. i'm only too aware of how being childish can cost me a relationship. we only need to last till december is all i'm thinking. Only a lil bit more and i'll be home again.

I suppose i can very honestly say i haven't really been hurt before. i admit i wasn't that hurt either, just pissed off, when i found out that someone made a move on a then intoxicated, even though she shouldn't have been, lis. Lis pushed him away at once, and needless to say a whole posse of my people immediately whacked up the offendor later at night either to protect lis for me while i'm away, salvage her dignity (knowing her it's likely she came out on top of the situation anyway), or just to let off aggression.

Of course that asshole knew we were seeing each other exclusively, which is something he couldn't take cause he use to date both of us (at separate times, silly). Lis never went beyond a 3rd date with him. I wasn't as smart. i didn't heed her warning, and dated him for almost a month (although not exclusively) before i came to my senses. I suppose it just galls him to know that two women who wouldn't give him the time of the day are getting it on together. exclusively. That's what makes an asshole, right? Big ego, no brains, all balls and testosterone.

Guess which is the first arse i'm gonna kick when i arrive? I'm not sure, me. I might kick his arse, i might kick lis' arse. what the hell was she doing drinking so much? i am keeping off party packs because she was worried about me. i have been damned drug-free for what seems to be ages now. i haven't been drunk. and my girlfriend gets drunk and ARGH. actually, if i ever get around to kicking her arse it'll only be a lil "reminder" kick. It's him who should worry about a boot meeting him in the gonads at very high speed. I'm just pissed i wasn't there. i'm still pissed i'm not there. I feel like maybe if i was there it wouldn't have happened (which i know it probably wouldn't have)

This is probably a "fuck you" cry for attention on his behalf. And sweetie, i will answer that call soon. You'd think some people would know better than to step straight into the path of murderous danger. What the hell did he think he was doing? Fuck you Jess look what i'm doing i'm kissing your girlfriend? Fuck you Lis you really do want me you just didn't know it? The more i think about it the more i seethe with anger....This is beyond the call of balls kicking. This is asking for broken bones, which of course other nice big, strong men will handle for me, saving the last intact bone for me to crush with a big hammer of course.

I've noticed in malaysia when u say ur dating someone it's automatically assumed that you're only dating that one special person. I'm coming from an angle where you're lucky to reach the stage where you can say you're dating someone exclusively. it means that out of all the people in your dating pool, one person stood out as maybe being the one. Stood out enough that u kicked the rest of the options away and took a goddamned chance for once.

Of course i'm alright now. I've been assured that sweet, sweet revenge will be mine. Even if i didn't do anything about it, lis has plenty of people who will gladly be her temporary knight in shining armour. Considering i'm going home for christmas though, i'd better do something about all those weekend plans of raving i've made for the whole of december starting with the Paul Van Dyk rave. It'll be hard to be clubbing in KL when i'm not in the country.

2002-11-25T07:00:00.000-05:00

I'm a Tomboy?

What's your sexual appeal?
brought to you by Quizilla

I'm not sure what to say....i don't know how i got this result..? Although at least i got tomboy and not pervert like a certain someone else *coughKIMcough* hehehhe....and we all know it too! Tomboy...definitely a first for me.

2002-11-24T10:09:00.000-05:00

Obsessions.

And I will not let you forget me,

I'll tattoo my name across your lips;

Ev'ry person that you'll ever be,

Ev'ry breath that ev'ry you will sip,

And your whispered wishes to be free.

Ev'ry sunrise, sunset and eclipse,

All I'll ever let you know is me.

When the warm rain seeps slow through your clothes,

And rain like me, seeps into your skin.

The feelings in you that you oppose,

Will each always grow and grow within.

I won't let you go, the one i chose:

So let your life without me begin,

The true ending we already know.

I just realised i can be a very possessive/jealous girlfriend sometimes. this is the first time it's happening so intensely.

2002-11-23T05:51:00.000-05:00

Saturday SIX Survey

1) Name six things you have planned for this weekend.

Call lis, rubies and noel. A few simple drug free (for me) house parties, shopping for the apartment i'm moving into with ric, and pampering myself the whole of sunday evening with a mani pedi and full body :D Heaven. Get someone to repair the speakers on my computer, go shopping with holly.

2) List six people who you find "hot"

Famous or non? Ok..famous it is then...from the top of my head- Rupert Everett, Ashley Judd, Uma Thurman, Guy Pearce, Scott Weiland, Laetitia Casta. Hmm...3 of each gender. How diplomatic of me.

3) List six reasons why someone should date you.

Isn't the fact that i'm ME enough? okay 6. i can be an absolutely lovely person. i make life pretty damned interesting. i'm horny. i'm healthy and therefore not likely to drop dead in the streets for no apparent reason. i'm smart enough. oh dammit another one? does modesty count as a reason? i'm usually very honest (unless ur related to me) and how many people can say that in a relationship? Oh actually i have a better reason than that. I know all the best places to go and better yet, i have easy access to those places.

4) Name six of your favorite movies

Pulp fiction, Y Tu Mama Bien, Priscilla- Queen of the Desert, LA Confidential, Midsummer Night's Dream, The Importance of Being Earnest. For today anyway.

5) List six dream gifts you want for Christmas

Okay i'm not exactly going to wish for world peace here so don't hold your breath. The first gift will be a dreamy christmas with lis when i get home. 2nd will be that no buldings are going to explode when i'm home. You know what? it's so fucking cliched it's droll, but all i want for christmas is to spend it with lis and all my friends, as i always had for so many years. What more can i ask for?

6) What would be the six courses on your dream menu?

Hmm..this might make me hungry. I wouldn't say dream menu to be precise but if i had two minutes to come up with the food for a 6 course meal this is probably what i'd come up with:

Apps (appetizers) will be something like caviar with those toasted brioches, or something more predictable like a salmon dish or sashimi, unless it's something asides from the normal dinner then maybe stuffed baked mushrooms?. For soups i'd pick something that isn't creamed, preferably a (beef) consomme or french onion soup, and a simple chef's salad. For the first entree, a simple roasted duckling or shrimps with a light sauce and small side dishes like creamed spinach, asparagus and mashed potatoes. For the second entree, veal marsala, dover sole or stuffed quails maybe? For dessert, creme brulee (so cliched but i love it!), an apple dessert or some ice-cream dish with fresh fruits ;)

I'll probably ask the chef to recommend the drinks for each course, since i'll never equal a chef's ability to match drinks unless i know the menu really well. Either that or ask someone who plans more dinner parties than i do. If there are vegetarians then i'd pick all the veg choices available for the other courses, and maybe a cheese ravioli, or one of those mushrooms capers and peppers dishes for 1st, and creamed spinach with blue cheese pasta for second. Depends on where we're eating. I think i'm in the mood for classic food today.

*Whew*.

2002-11-23T03:50:00.000-05:00

Happy // Strangle

First of all, the happy happy news is that A Question in Life has a photo of it's blog dedicated to it in 09h09- Yeay! He's a laugh and he's a sweetie, so check out the site!

Secondly, i might be mildly pissed off at two brats who also happen to be my cousins since the speakers for my computer no longer function, and i have a big yellow handprint in my wardrobe with a smiley face drawn on it. A bleeding smiley face with 5 horns. I knew there had to be a reason why they were being such angels. But since they made me a lovely card and all that all is forgiven (for now), unless anything else is amiss then hell will transfer itself right into my bedroom where i will turn those little devils into sacrificial lambs!

:D

2002-11-21T07:47:00.000-05:00

Hump Day Heads Up

Word Association

1) bed - king

2) candles - red vanilla

3) silk sheets- legs

4) teddy- see through

5) oils - hands and shoulders

6) massage - soft

7) positions - kama sutra

8) naughty- me

9) nice- Lis

10) ice- firey

I'll take a cold shower if it actually did help (which everyone should know, No, it really doesn't). Questions from Daily Dose by John T

2002-11-21T07:38:00.000-05:00

Good God

For the uninitiated, Malaysia has the most holidays. Ever. Apparently some of the states are having a holiday tomorrow to celebrate some Quran reading. Which means 2 bratty cousins are coming over for the long weekend. I think i'll just kill myself now. They get their hands all dirty, go through my wardrobe, mess up my bed, smudge my mirrors, lose my make-up, torture the pets, flush my food away, trip people up, run around screaming, pretend i've killed them by pouring ketchup all over themselves then lying on the driveway/ under the car/ floating in the pool, examine my pads and tampons, paint faces on my door, leave the toilet unflushed, poke my ribs when i'm sleeping, lick my face, crash my computer, demand for everything, throw grass under my pillow, charge and tackle me at full speed, use my paints for their faces, wear (and therefore eventually spoil) my shoes, call random numbers on my phone, make me entertain them on hours on end and god knows what else in hell's name they'll come up with.

For some reason they leave ric alone. I suspect foul play in the name of bribery here. Well two can play the same game.

Lis is taking advantage of my absence by decorating our home with all the stuff i normally won't allow in. Like Antonio di Viccaro. I'm going to faint our place is going to look like a circus by the time i get home. Arghhhh....

2002-11-20T01:47:00.000-05:00

Natalie

Well, there goes another one. I'll never do a desk job. i can't do a 9 to 5. i will always be a boho art freak. And now, self proclaimed boho art freak, Natalie, has donned her power suit and followed daddy to work to, as they say, learn the ropes in the hope that she too will have a hand in running the company in the future.

Good luck natalie *clinks glass*. i'll miss your presence as an artist but at least i'll get to see u go crazy soon from doing everything you swore never to do, under the tutelage of your father who only drives you crazy when he's talking about work.

2002-11-19T01:57:00.000-05:00

This or That Tuesday

1. Long or short hair?
Short hair...easier to maintain and i don't have to wait as long to get it coloured.

2. Microwave or conventional oven?
That's easy, microwave!...i have no idea what to do with a conventional oven really...

3. Plain or Peanut M&M's?
Plain if i have to choose between the two...as i've said before i don't like nuts fruits or whatever with my chocolates....that being said i like peanut butter m&ms the most :)

4. "101 Dalmations"...animated or live-action version?
Can't actually recall what the animated one was like...never watched the live one. i don't really watch much tv...and it often shows in these type of quizzes...was there even a live action one? i don't usually watch children shows

5. Drink out of bottle/can or pour into a glass?
Depends on the drink and the company. With my friends we all drink out of the bottle/can cause no one wants to clean up after that. at our age the whole apartment can still look like a teenager's nest after we're done.

6. Sunlight or moonlight?
Moonlight....i'm very nocturnal...that being said i'm usually up before sunrise cause i only need 3-5 hours of sleep on average. I can't help it my whole family's that way. we get up earlier than the maids do. The only time i sleep more than 5 hours is after some mile long hike i probably got dragged on :coughdamnyouadriancough:, and if i've had too much pot. That means yes, it can be annoying if i'm sleeping in the same bed with you, but hey, at least you'll get breakfast in bed!

7. Kermit the Frog or Miss Piggy?
I hate the muppets so much, you never want to bring them up in a dinner conversation. i'll think you're scum from the drains with no intelligence whatsoever.

8. Glasses or contact lenses (or neither)?
Neither. 20-20 vision :) Although i did wear those cat-eyes and other patterned contact lenses that everyone wore in that craze phase till i found out it wasn't exactly the best thing for eyes.

9. Action movies or chick flicks?
Neither...i like movies like dangerous liasons...and y tu mama bien (which i suppose is the male version of a chick flick)...that being said i did really like The Sweetest Thing it had beautiful girls for me to look at and they reminded me so much of my friends and i. speaking of chick flicks, i despise that movie whatsitcalled....Clueless! oh that's one evil show that should never have seen the light of day

10. Toilet seat...up or down?
Down, obviously. i've trained all the guys i dated so well too. my tip is if a guy insists on leaving the toilet seat up, get rid of his balls so he'll have to sit down and pee just like girls. actually i mainly just told the stubborn ones that and they believed me too. which was a good thing cause i get really pissed sitting down on cold ceramic in the middle of the night and i probably would make good my threat.

Questions from Ailurophile

2002-11-17T11:58:00.000-05:00

The Anti-Martha

You know there's something wrong with your family's perception of your abilities when they decide we'd all make dinner together, your dad does the preparations and marinades, your mother the cooking, your brother makes the soup and mixes the drinks and you're put in charge of cooking dinner for the pets.

This is dinner. This is DOG FOOD.

I ham currently very offended. Do they think i will kill them with my marinade? Slip poison into the drinks? Why the hell is everyone doing dinner that humans eat while i boil innards and vegetables for the dogs?????

It wouldn't be insulting at all if i had squirmed out of the actual, extra work by insisting i make the dog's dinner. but i was assigned to make it, which is not only a total pie in my face, but a testament to the preconceived notion of my family that if i've never cooked in malaysia, i've never cooked anywhere.

They're laughing and wondering why i'm having a cow over less work. I'm thinking Fine, i'll make sure the dog's dinner tastes better! utterly childish, and since it's kinda hard to make boiled cabbage and livers look good, a jolly good thing i didn't say it out loud. the cruel, cruel people might have made me eat it.

And right now, i could get into a cat-fight with martha stewart.

2002-11-16T14:23:00.000-05:00

French Face

And now, ladies, gentlemen, and lil bickering boys, i give you in conjunction with me having my first french fry at 12 years old, the first french guy to make me happy through the many wonders of the internet at 20+ years old:

09h09

See French Guy. See French Guy Smile. Laugh. I know, i know...i should stop laughing at funny looking people....i can't help it though....he takes a picture everyday at 9.09....and ohh hahaha he makes me laugh (let me be clear on one point here: he's not butt ugly he just has a rubbery type face and these 'i'm a joker' type expressions). he looks like a real fun guy to hang out with. his friends get part of their 15 minutes of fame there too. Actually...he kind of reminds me of Bart (good guy, bad name). right kim?

Why do i always end up pulling out drinks from the fridge when i get up to pee? wait...How did i get on the internet? and most of all, is that the last goddamned bud(weiser) i'm drinking? if it's not bad enough that it's hard to find the beers and drinks i like in this country my brother's probably been breaking into my fridge and raiding my drinks too. grrr.....i'm going to hit him so hard tomorrow he's going to have to stick a toothbrush up his arse to brush his teeth.

Quote shamelessly lifted off Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. I had a big big crush on Guy Pearce there. Or should we call him Felicia?

Okay. i'm officially out of drinks. i don't think i'll wait till tomorrow to annihilate that useless waste of sperm feeding off my beer. Time to go.

2002-11-16T10:47:00.000-05:00

Play That Funky Music White Boy

Ohhh sexy...I can't take my eyes off moloko's sing it back video. i love watching people dance. i'm aware of what is said about good dancers and their bed statistics,and i'm going to be incredibly shallow here and say i agree. Look, if someone can pull all the moves and seductively move and gyrate in a public place, fully clothed, what makes you think it won't be much much sweeter in a room with half (and later, none) of the clothes factor?

She's not the best dancer, but she certainly has some moves that keeps my eyes glued on her. or it could be that dress. i love her outfit there. so shiny and sexy. it's a good thing i'm going back to my Lis soon before i explode. Our phone conversations are very.....well....intense...as it is.

Another good dancer would be usher. ugly bloke, smooth moves, good body. i'm no big fan of his music but everytime he comes up and starts moving.....i...just...can't....and even though everyone is saying justin timberlake's dancing is so great in his new video (whatever it's called), and i must admit the moves are pretty good, it's the choreographer i want to meet. oh yes. i want to meet whoever it was who thought of that dance. just to see what he's (or she, but what are the chances ei?) like.

I can't wait to go to sleep and think about dancing men and women. the reason for this post? oh no, not moloko. moloko is , like this post, a result of the reason. i got posted a cd burned with images of my girlfriend dancing. so i can't watch it anywhere else but in my room, but who could ask for a better present huh? :smile:

Now if you don't mind, there's a certain dance show i'm off to watch ;D

2002-11-15T11:55:00.000-05:00

Friday Face-Offs: Tastes

1) sweet vs. sour
Sour all the wayyyy....i have a sour tooth ;)

2) hot drinks vs. cold drinks
Cold drinks, definitely. Unless it's my daily dose of coffee/tea. I hate cold coffee or tea. And no, i do not like iced lemon tea. it is possibly the most annoying drink ever. Also, i'll have to be boinkers to drink any hot ones when i'm in malaysia....if there's one thing i forgot about malaysia is the bloody humidity. *takes a moment to bless whoever the hell invented air-conditioning*

3) vanilla vs. chocolate
Vanilla. No, chocolate. Vanilla. Okay this could be a problem. I think i'll just choose irish cream or green tea (is that weird? i mean....i really like those macha / ocha ice creams)

4) grape vs. orange
Grapes if they're sweet, seedless, and peeled. I can be such a princess (ie: pain in the arse)

5) pasta vs. potatoes
NOOOOOOOOO!! Evil Question!! Next!

6) soup vs salad
Soups. I'm a soup person. it's very comforting to me. I mean...i even like those cold fruit soups that everyone else finds disgusting.

7) breakfast, lunch, or dinner
Dinner. But only because of the company i get :)

8) Mexican vs. Italian
Ohh...dammit....Italian. It's those lovely fish dishes. but maybe...hmm....this quiz is making me feel very indecisive. Me no likey feeling this way.

9) Japanese vs. Chinese
Japanese- i really love sashimi. i can out-eat anyone when it comes to raw fish. Besides, monosodium glutamate makes my tongue feel funny. years of studying science just so i know what msg stands for. pathetic, really.

10) eat-in vs take-out
eat-in. i don't like it when food gets too cold. besides, take-outs means the maids will end up cleaning after me since i'm too goddamned lazy to do it myself, and god knows they deserve a break since the whole family came back.

What is it with me and taking all these type of tests? I'll probably never figure it out without diggin deep into those lil corners of my mind, and i ain't going there honey! Quiz is from Daily Dose by John T.

Ps: It's 1.15 in the morning, 4 coffee addicts are up looking for their caffeine fix and nary a coffee bean to be found. Ladies and gentlemen, please evacuate the building immediately. This could get dangerous. And please, no sudden movements.

2002-11-15T11:48:00.000-05:00

MP3?

Don't. Talk. To. Me. About. MP3s. I. Don't. Care.

Looks it's not like i'm a complete nincompoop with no idea what an mp3 is....it's some file format or something people use to download songs right? Well, some people just don't like downloading stuff off the net. Some people have crashed and infected with viruses so many computers that her father considered revoking all computer access rights. Some people, would rather shell out a few dollars to lessen the chance of them completely ruining another computer. Some people, for that matter, dislike being on the computer repair guy's speed dial.

So i haven't ever downloaded an mp3 in my life. i probably never will. i didn't have my first french fry till i was 12. Makes an mp3 look like a small matter doesn't it? Wait. Maybe you didn't get me the first time. I ate my first french fry when i was 12. and all some people want to do during dinner is talk about the mp4 format for downloading videos. Make do like everyone else. watch tv.

2002-11-15T10:55:00.000-05:00

Go ROME!

Temple To Gay Love Unearthed Rome

In other news, i just found a very crusty, old email from a 13 year old boy i've met twice, with an invitation to cream his arse. at a computer online game called earth 2025, that is. i have no idea how he found that email address considering 1) even i hardly remember it exists. 2) even the ad agencies don't really know about it.

Aaaahh....a mystery to be solved, that. And no, of course i'm not about sign up for some online warfare game so my ass will get kicked by everyone else. i'm better at the personal war poke eyes out type thing. Besides, i have a tendency to get addicted to computer games (sokoban, jezzball, tetris, and bloody pinball) and god knows i have enough addictions to deal with as it is. like my incresingly appalling dependency to/ addiction on the internet.

2002-11-15T00:41:00.000-05:00

Natural Hair Colour

I've heard of people 'forgetting' their own natural hair colour. it happens. you had this particular shade of brown hair almost a decade ago, before you discovered the secret delights of drenching your hair in chemical dyes. Almost a decade, and several mutant hair colours later, as far as you're concerned, your natural hair colour is blue/ green/ purple/ psychedelic pink. your could have been born with hair shit brown, mouse brown, light brown, oak or whatever. it makes no difference. Life's too short to remember the exact shade of brown your hair was when you were born, before you discovered your natural hair colour in a bottle.

How on earth though, i'd like to know, can my parents think i'm a natural blond? *insert favourite dumb blond joke here*.

Mom: Jessica, have you considered letting your hair grow again? maybe back to the lovely blond hair you were born with.

Silence.

Me: Mom. I've never had blond hair.

I don't know what gave her that idea. especially since there hasn't been any blonds in the family for quite some time. Mothers are supposed to have fond lil memories of what an adorable brat you used to be right? right? am i right? anyone? who's that blond bitch who's sitting in my mother's memories?

Maybe my mother's high on drugs. Maybe i have a secret blond sister somewhere. Maybe i should go back to sleep and pretend this morning didn't happen.

2002-11-15T00:04:00.000-05:00

Tits Tits Tits

There're people with shrinking tits, big tits, and there's The World's Heaviest Tits. Sooo not work-safe.

Link lifted off Fun Junkie

Read: Doctor My Eyes

People with Cats That Hate You. Excerpt: Anubis hates you because he is a god, and you are not. He is displeased with the mere mortals that surround him, he will shit on their beds. Charmed, i'm sure.

Links via Barbtries a Blog

2002-11-14T03:35:00.000-05:00

Did I Ruin Your Life?

Well i'll be damned. another person in a crumpled heap on the floor, crying, and pointing a finger at me.
Awww poor baby did i ruin your life too?
Well you can still get it if u want...maybe if you stick your hand in deep enough

Dear me....Don't you wish you knew what i did?
I flushed down every single packet of drugs i own.
I told all of you to stop laughing at me quitting party packs and to come get the rest before my willpower ran out.
And it did run out. Bye bye. *Flush*
I'm actually proud of myself :D

2002-11-13T01:54:00.000-05:00

This or That Tuesday

1. Hershey's Kisses: with or without almonds?
Without, definitely....i don't like chocs with any nuts, raisins or fruits in them. they make my chocolates taste weird. that being said i do like certain herbs fried in butter then added to chocolates.......::heeheeheee:: ::coughgrasscough:: heeheehee....i actually get happy thinking of it....

2. Wizard of Oz: Scarecrow or Tin Man?
Toto :P i like dogs.

3. Meat eater or vegetarian?
Vegetarian for a week every month....but only for detox reasons....practically carnivorous rest of them time

4. Buy books or borrow them?
Buy....i hate sharing and i hate getting those musty books. also i have a healthy dislike for those creepy quiet places.

5. At the bank: ATM or human teller?
Atm....bank tellers get rude sometimes which makes me bitchy and vindictive which leads to meetings with managers which.....umm...not that it's ever happened before, of course. ahem

6. Oil or gas (or other) heat?
Fireplace. i'm probably one of the least eco friendly people ever.

7. Pen or pencil?
depends on what i'm drawing. afterthought: unless it's writing then maybe a pen.

8. Drive or use public transit?
Drive....or better yet, driven around. i'm not much of a driver. surprisingly though i have never experienced road rage, and i still don't get how anyone else does.

9. Who IS James Bond: Sean Connery or Pierce Brosnan (or any of the others in between)?
Have never watched a single james bond movie. is that bad?

10. Your ideal breakfast: full (bacon/sausage, eggs, pancakes, etc) or continental (bagels, muffins, fruit, cereal)?
BOTH. I'm a braeffast piggie i am. don't make me choose. :D

2002-11-13T00:14:00.000-05:00

Horny. Very.

It's been more than a month since i've seen Lis...that means...it's been more than a month since i've been on a date. curled up and (not) watch a movie together in the theater. it's been over a month since anyone's pinned my arms behind my back, above my head, and stolen kisses from me. i eat my dinner in public without flirting or seeing how much body contact lis and i can get away with. I miss smelling her perfume everywhere, especially on my pillows. although she insists my perfume is the one invading the bedroom.

Let's not even talk about sex. especially since i haven't had any for over a month.

In fact, the word cunnilingus is of as much use to me right now as armadillo. armadillo might even be more useful.

i thought blogging about it would help. like maybe i'll stop thinking about beautiful naked bodies after a while. but i'll just have to face it. i'm....So. Incredibly. Horny. right now it isn't going to happen anytime soon.

2002-11-11T11:30:00.000-05:00

Hate

Hate is a very strong word. But if anyone deserves it it has to be the Ku Klux Klan. Racist bigots.

This is an excerpt from their site:

However, many in Congress want to pass the Employment Non Discrimination Act (ENDA) It will require ANYONE to hire homosexuals, lesbians, and transsexuals even when they will be in close proximity to children. Why do the politicians want to pass this law so badly.

And the polls for people to choose from:

Homosexuals may be small in number, but big on campaign donations
The entertainment industry has tainted anyone opposed to homosexuals as evil. The politicians think the reputation placed on them by entertainment elitists is more important than the nation's youth.
Politicians are just too wimpy to take a stand
Homosexual agitators hold important positions of influence in Washington D.C.
You don't exactly need to major in statistics to realise how biased the (racist bigotic) KKK is. Everyone in there needs a stake driven through that thing in their chest posing as a heart.

This might have be brought on by a certain very dear friend of mine being unjustifiably offended for no other reason than not being white. I am not going to mention his accomplishments, his kindness or any other trait, because it is not necessary to refute dumb unbased accusations of him being less worthy of living as part of the society in america just because he isnt white.

Go on then. Go to their site and read how they'll justify their beliefs and actions. How they're not racist, they're not prejudiced against anyone asides from white people of the church...they just want a whole america populated with people just like them that's all. Self-righteous Liars. Calling themselves america's last hope. they don't even qualify as america's last resort. And if someone thinks i'm wrong, i dare you. tell me. Go on then. start a fight. Tell me what's so great about people who refer to martin luther king, jr, as a race mixing communist. leave your address if you dare.

2002-11-11T09:37:00.000-05:00

Ummm...Whoops?

Remember when we taught this little 2 year old girl to say a whole load of crap like what's up nigger?

Well apparently that might not have been such a good idea cause she was left with the nanny who didn't understand a word her ward was saying when she greeted

1) the guard

2)the gardener

3) every other person

with a very jolly What's up niggah?
Her parents came home with some friends only to have them greeted as niggers too.
It may have been wrong, but it's too funny to regret.

2002-11-11T08:17:00.000-05:00

Cheers, Kim

Official thanks to kim for regulating my comments and getting rid of all those comments by assholes who insist upon putting up links to my old website and photo albums

It's good to have friends i can trust with no life beyond the internet

:D

Whoa....back off kim....down down....matte kudasai...

2002-11-11T08:15:00.000-05:00

It's Never Easy

Jess: I've a ticket home in december...

Mom: home? where are you going that you need to come back home to malaysia in december?

Why do i get the feeling she's going to make this very difficult for me?

Jess: I mean i'm off to celebrate christmas in december...in america

Mom: guess again.

::insert big fight::

What's done is done. and what's done can be exhausting.

In other news, i've been looking up those intrusive questionnaires that ask tons of stuff, none of which is their business, so people can post it up in their websites (well, actually..i'm suppose to forward it around in an email but you get the idea).

:D

2002-11-10T08:37:00.000-05:00

Some Links For The Bored

Etch a Sketch
Am i the only one who thinks this guy spends too much time with his Etch-a-Sketch?

Move
This lil guy who can move your whole screen round....kinda cool...

Trouble waiting to happen
Minister tells people to save water. shower together.

Blog Anon
i've noticed some people come to my site for details of lesbian sex. how could i not with the emails i get with big fat titles saying: PLS TELL ME ABOUT LESBIAN SEX and PLS PUT UP PICTURES OF U & LIS IN BED. too bad. go to blog anon instead she's a lot more descriptive. Also, she has great tits.

2002-11-10T07:53:00.000-05:00

WHEEEE

I hereby officially take back any statements i have ever made about wanting a sister instead of a brother. That sweetheart has just told me he's got me a ticket back home for christmas!!! LAlalallalallalala no more christmas alone! i get to see lis soon! WHeeeee..

Of course there's that matter of explaining to my parents why i want to go there at the very season those bombing yahoos will want to strike, what with it being a celebration of the birth of Christ and all that. But who cares? I'm going home! sides, christmas is a good enough reason for anything!

i'm getting ric the biggest bestest christmas gift i can this year! :D

Heh Heh Heh

According to The New Complete Medical and Health Encyclopedia, New York (1982), i might be male:

A girl who cuddles too closely to a boy may trigger a response she did not expect and may not want. Depending upon the boy and the status of his sex drive at that time, he might accept the girl's approaches as a suggestion that she is willing to have intercourse or is at least interested in petting. If the girl is simply being frendly, the results can be embarrassing to one or both of the youngsters. If the boy is the type who likes to discuss the details of his dates with his friends, the girl may discover a sudden and unwelcome change in attitude by other boys in the group.

I don't know about everyone else out there, but i had a good time laughing. now i can only think of very few situations where a girl can cuddle too closely to me. One is post coital cuddling in the summer when the a/c isn't working, and you really don't like her enough to make the whole bed a living oven. Secondly is when someone is running past second base and diving for third, or maybe a home run, when in fact they aren't even up for bat. That would probably trigger an unexpected and unwanted response alright. First one would be my kicking someone off the bed, the second would be my favourite attack of jabbing people in the eyes.

And if i were straight and you were trying to get some and cuddling too close then that'd probably call for an eye jab too if you couldn't take a hint.

Furthermore, if a girl doesn't know what the effects of cuddling too close are, and what it implies, then she's just stupid. there really isn't any other excuse for it. even my 2 year old cousins know better than to do that.

As for boys who like to discuss the nitty-gritty with his guys...well there are many ways to fix that if you're not willing to put up with that. putting him down in front of that one asshole friend all guys have is the best. the next time he brags about you and says something like: "And that bitch came crawling back but i told her to fuck off, or "Yup she just couldn't get enough of the Lord of The Labia" that one asshole friend just won't be able to resist adding "that must be why she called your dick the acorn stuck on two peas" or "Oh you mean the one who dumped you cause she just couldn't continue living a lie by dating a jackass that couldn't get it up unless gay porn was playing on tv?"

I'm one of those people who really shouldn't think of dumping others as so much fun. Then again the people that i dump and not break up with were all assholes who probably deserved the dent i put in their social lives and esteem anyway.

I suppose the reason this book is so silly is because it was written in 1982. And here i was thinking america had always been jaded. i guess everyone was naive once. And since i'm going home soon, i shall not bash up the rest of the book :D

2002-11-10T04:55:00.000-05:00

Little X Is Literate

Did anyone else see that new craig david video? (look, don't judge my music okay? there are only so many music channels in malaysia).
Now note recurring themes:
A contest is held for four lucky people to enter into the craig david building/factory/whatever the hell it was meant to be. you just need to get that one craig david cd with the golden cover that says you're the winner.
Enter: four girls buying craig david cds. obviously being the spoilt bratty hormonal women that they are, they buy tons to feed their lust for mr craig in the hope that they'll get one of the four magical cds that will gain them access to his building/factory/whatever the hell it was meant to be, and hopefully his loins too.
Of course, they get one of the four winning cds each.
Enter: Craig david comes running out of his...we've been through this...whatever that building is...let's just call it factory...and what's he wearing? a tophat. he looks like a dick prancing around in that.
One by one, the girls get knocked off as they choose the fame, money, and idea of sex with a star over mr craig david, the person himself, till only one lucky girl is left behind.
They shoot off blisfully into the heavens IN A FUCKING LIFT THAT SHOOTS THROUGH THE ROOF OF SAID BUILDING
Thank you mister-director-of-the-video, little x, but unlike the people that must undoubtably make up most of your glitter society, most people have read charlie and the chocolate factory, and recognise plagiarism of ideas.
Note: Of course there was no charlie in the video, because it would be so totally unglamorous for a poor girl to hit it off with craig david in the end. what type of clothes would a poor girl wear anyway?
Note2: In the real world, a gay guy, a crazed homocidal stalker, and two crazy bloggers looking for ways to gain more hits for their website would have gotten the tickets.
Note3: The first girl to get booted off would have been kind of pretty if she wasn't in a craig david video.
damn...hungry...off to scavenge for food...

2002-11-10T04:04:00.000-05:00

Fee Fi Fo FUM

A good night out is like having a muse living in your blood. Makes you want to type a lot. ::keffgrasskeffkeff:: Of course, since good nights out without your significant other can sometimes make your significant other a tad worried....okay let's just say i'm giving
up all party drugs for a while for someone's sake.
Yeah yeah yeah....i know it's supposed to be good for me. but we're talking about someone who almost broke up with her (ex) boyfriend because she wouldn't stop eating those raspberry flavoured sweets he hated (we came to an understanding. he learned to like those sweets.). Pardon me if i don't sound thrilled about the idea anyway.
I am now allowed- cigarettes, alcohol and that's it really. I guess waking up to a phone call filled with nothing but hysterical laughter from someone that sounds a whole lot like your girlfriend, and sleazy background sounds from a place countries away tops the list on how to creep out the rest of your day. Especially when your girlfriend already promised you she'd take care of herself in malaysia because you won't be there. and you know your girlfriend loses (the other) half of her mind when she's high.

maybe if i keep telling myself this i'll feel better. sigh. ::picks up tissue. waves a nostalgic goodbye at the things that won't be in my life for some time now::

Aaah the things ya have to do when you're sharing your life with someone else. even if that someone else is the person who convinced 4 other guys to pierce themselves with fishhooks while they were all high themselves on more substances than i can recognise. but it's nice to know she cares.

Too bad it isn't shown in a different way. for the record though, i might feel an unrational relief that she isn't getting loaded around other people while i'm not around. might. :D

But till the effects wear off....i feel a certain blogging itch. pardon me if i sound like a buffoon for the rest of the day.

2002-11-09T00:19:00.000-05:00

You Aren't Even Sub-Human

I've done it now. I'm a badly brought up daughter because my parents have no parenting skills. I'm a rude, selfish, uncaring, unfeeling ingrate who'd go out of my way to hurt my host's feelings.

It all began this morning. My family was invited into someone's home to have breakfast. When will they learn?. After aunty Marie recoiled from the shock of seeing my brother and i with blue hair, she smiled a lil weakly, and invited us in. We had a good ol english breakfast, and just as we were settling back all comfy in our chairs, aunt marie turns around to the maids and say in malay:

Bilak sudah makan ini pigi cuci baju saya. (After you eat this go wash my clothes)

Her malay is probably just a bit better than mine. but that's besides the point. the point is, aunt marie, what are the maids having for breakfast? i'm asking because malaysians have a nasty habit of giving the maids leftovers to eat, and in this case, there wasn't much left over.

A. Marie: Oh...hahah...they're going to eat the leftovers of course...umm....they don't really eat much so it'll be alright. they have crackers. They'll be fine.
Me (not letting it go): but we really didn't leave much for the maids. why didn't you tell us to set aside a portion?
Mom: Mia.....I think it's time you
Me (shock horror i'm interrupting my mother): They have crackers?
Marie: *sees tiny ray of hope* yes yes yes they have crackers ::hahaha:: they'll be just fine.

This is where those sitting at my side of the table, Ric, dad and me, all see one of the maids shoot her a die, BITCH look into her back.
Me (again): But aunt marie, u mean they cooked all the delicious food (white lie) and they wont get to eat any of it?
A. Marie (slightly annoyed): Well i'm glad you like the breakfast.
Ric: So aunty i heard you're thinking of getting a ready trained dog for
Me (interrupting, again):Shut up Ric.
This is where there is a long silence, as aunt marie realises i am out to get her. My father is studiously ignoring the whole situation. he could be watching tv. my mother is trying to (not-so) subtly signal at Ric to stop me. Ric is sending over the Who me? against her? now? no way-jose signal back.

There is a time in life where people have to choose between a high emotional quotient and deal with this calmly, or behaving like a hooligan in someone else's house by yelling so loudly at their host that all the maids gather to watch even as all the birds withing a 5 mile radius fly away.

Good. at least someone can sense murder. Therein begins a 20 minute rant that probably felt like 2 hours to everyone else.

I told her exactly how appalling that way of thinking was, that maids aren't sub-human but she at the most certainly was to treat them that way and they were PEOPLE paid to make her life easier and weren't hired so she could have some lives to toy around with at her disposal.

that it was disgusting if this was normally how she fed her maids and how would she like it if she had to eat crackers everytime she's hungry because her employer thinks she doesn't really need food since she's from a different social class. how she should just allow the maids to cook their own meals if they want to and if not they should have let them take their portion before we ate, or at least set aside a decent amount while we're eating for 4 maids without messing up the food they will eat. how she had no respect for humanity and she was a disgrace to society.

i could still go on. there, i did go on. i had so much more to say.

That's admittedly kind of hard when the rest of your family is tugging at you as they beat a hasty retreat to their car. i don't think we'll be invited for breakfast anytime soon again. needless to say my ride home was not the most comfortable one the family ever had. my parents know what i'm thinking is not off-track, but they really really don't approve of my temper.

Ric's just having a good time letting me be me

I am getting down on my knees later and begging him to help me get out of the house this evening for my slumber party ::coughalcoholcigarettesdrugsravecough::

But meanwhile, all i'm asking is that people treat maids exactly as who they are, fellow human beings with the same rights and feelings as us. respect and consideration isn't really that much to ask for.

2002-11-09T00:04:00.000-05:00

Republican Party in Control

As noted crusty and ruthless and largely unpleasant former Clinton adviser James Carville observed just after the election, "The American people just don't have a clue as to what's coming."

If you are female, gay, bisexual, atheist, black, immigrant, poor, progressive, intellectual, open minded, open hearted, if you hold alternative views, dress funny, dance, enjoy sex, read seditious literature, believe in peace and funky spirituality and don't particularly care for a sneering angry self-righteous well-armed anti-everything deity, you are about to find out. The hard way. And so is everyone else.

Well i think 99% of my friends are listed up there. But it's alright. if anyone has learnt to take stand up and take care of themselves, it's those who have been discriminated against, or looked down upon for no other reason than by being who they are. If i know them well, and i do, they'll pick themselves up for a final lunge at whoever's shot their body full of holes if it ever came down to that.

Speaking of which i got really pissed this morning. It deserves a blog all on its own

2002-11-08T11:36:00.000-05:00

Just One Good Tv Program. Is That So Much To Ask For?

This is what happens when I have to stay home, watching bad tv, so my parents will let me out the next night to this slumber party ::coughliarcough::

Third Eye Blind: Semi Charmed Life.

I love this song. I love the lead singer. What the hell is it doing on MTV Classic? What a way to make someone feel like a dinosaur...Aww Cmon MTV....it's not THAT old! It's playing in the same timeslot as "We Built This City On Rock n Roll". This is just wrong. Oh yeah. Now they're playing Richard Marx's Hazard. i always thought someone asides from that puss should have sang it.

And flip over to the only other music channel, Channel V, and Avril Lavigne is on, talking about her..."music". It's a pop infestation of the anti-britneys. i've done it. i've contaminated my blog. i've said britney. oh the shame, i said it again.

Avril Lavigne: How can anyone who looks so much like Lis (but shorter, younger and more immature) be SO annoying? The way she talks is appalling. Like, i went to NY and like, LA Reid liked my music, and like, i just turned 16. Make the world a better place. Strangle the girl.

Obviously someone is PMS-ing. Obviously, someone should NOT have bought an answering machine for her apartment. Obviously, someone's girlfriend is screening calls again, when she knows a certain someone will be calling. Obviously, someone's PMS is getting worse by watching an annoying mini-Lis on tv. Oooh...phone is beeping. Message from Lis! Happy days :D

I take back what I said. avril lavigne looks nothing like Lis. How could i think anyone so annoying would. silly me. Time to go make a phone call!

2002-11-08T10:18:00.000-05:00

Ouch

After God had created man he stepped back and admired his work:

"Look at this perfect physique, the strong yet handsome features, the well balanced proportions. I have to say, I am in awe of myself."

Then he turned and looked at the woman.

After he had been studying her for a while he said:

"Oh, well, I guess you'll just have to wear make-up."

Joke lifted off Fun Junkie (check blog list)

Oh and by the way, no one should ever try to make snide remarks about me in my face just cause they're speaking in another language asides from english. i can sense snide remarks. better yet, i can understand spoken cantonese, mandarin, hokkien (sort of...), punjabi, hindi bad words, and passable malay.

I will know. and i will confront you. in your own language, if possible. as someone who has just received the harsher side of my tongue will attest to.

I am not as un-malaysianised as you think for me to make it easy for you to bitch about me in my face without me understanding a damn word. because i do. at least- most of the major local languages anyway.

what? horror? good. and yes, i understood your parting shot too. here's mine to you:

Tu kutiah kenjeriah sali harami zadi

I might not get the spelling right, but at least you know for sure. yeah bitch, i really did understand what you were saying. Next time, let's see you try again in english when you're more composed, just so that you'll know for sure you really aren't better at arguing than i am.

for those who don't know me personally, i don't blog the same way i talk. i talk very fast. i blog less, because it'd take people far longer to read what i blog then hear what i say. now if you'll excuse me, Frasier is on..

2002-11-08T07:29:00.000-05:00

Fabulous

I'm trying to resist but....YESSS!!! I just found the most fabulous pair of boots! Knee-high, brown and murderous heels to kill people with! And a lovely skirt too. I love shopping.

Winner of Battle of The Sexes- A Lizard
Women Bloggers Wet T-Shirt Contests. Well? What more do you want me to say? Go already. With my blessings.

2002-11-08T06:28:00.000-05:00

The Reason We Chase Is Lost In Romance

Just....one....more....person....and...i'll...break....NOW!!!

I started a blog because i'm a deeply sensitive person with needs and :::insert more narcissistic rants here::: and i need an outlet for all these torrents of emotions ::::insert more:::. i'm sure you understand, right? hello? were you listening? ....ummm...hello?

So no, this is not a blog about my girlfriend, nor am i going to capitalise on my lifestyle in the blog. as if i'd cheapen the most important relationship in my life by using it to get people to log on to my blog. so stop asking me to concentrate on talking about what i do with my girlfriend, because that's private. and private means it's absolutely no one else's business.

I tell everyone who wants me to set up a blog dedicated to my girlfriend: You know what? You're so interested in homo-relationships why don't you get a partner too? I know you'll simply love this friend of mine ...just call this number ::scribble scribble:: he'll be delighted to hear from you...what? hey...heyyyy....come backkkk

Of course Lis will make appearances every so often. can i help it? probably. but that would rip out a huge chunk of how i'm feeling and what i'm thinking and doing today. but do nosy parkers with no love in their own life need to know the nitty-gritty details? i'm not even going to bother answering that one.

Meanwhile, i'm listening to Jane Arden's -Insensitive, and Wheatus' -A Little Respect over and over again. I think everyone in the house is slowly going mad.

In other news, Ric has dyed his hair blue too, although it's slightly darker than mine since it's newly dyed. We're thinking of convincing our parents to do the same. it'll be weird if our mother has blue hair though. we'll be the local addams family.

:::strange, deranged, the addams family:::
dum dum dum dum *click click*

2002-11-08T05:41:00.000-05:00

Quiz Addict

I love answering stupid questions online just to see what conclusions they draw upon my personality. Childish? Yes. Fun? Ohh Yeahhhh

Which 'Stand By Me' Archetype are You?

What Color Eyes Should You Have?

All quizzes in this post found in Quizilla

2002-11-07T07:38:00.000-05:00

Thank You God, I Get The Hint

It's always a fun thing when one of your gal pals calls up and tells you she's treating you to a lunch at this place she's been once and it's so delightful, the food's heavenly and the staff so friendly and accommodating

So Holly and I set out. We enter. She's right. It's delightful, heavenly and the staff is great. After our lunch and a cup of coffee each, right before she gets the bill, she leans over, winks, and whispers confidently that she thinks we might get a freebie lunch because she thinks the manager has a crush on her. Oh and by the way Jess, i did not bring any money, now cross your fingers! Then she immediately turns around, smiles at the manager and asks for the bill before i can react beyond the stunned silence.

She could have given me a full minute i still wouldn't be ready to say or do anything. except maybe up and run. Things i do not need to hear when my purse is almost a block down the road in holly's car.

When the manager came over, i was already expecting either some highly embarassing moment when one of us (me) would have to excuse ourselves and walk a block down to get the purse. Or we could become professional dishwashers. What i did not expect was what i was hoping like crazy for. if i hadn't made a conscious effort to breathe i would have turned blue a long time ago. The manager came over and said it was on the house. that was a good thing considering we had a total of less than RM2 between the both of us.

We smiled our thanks, did the whole social thing, and when we left we had a good laugh. i'm taking this as a warning from up above to bring some cash with me whenever i go out with nutter friends. Holly thinks the suspense was a small price to pay (if at all she regarded it as a price) to confirm her suspicions about the manager. Poor sod doesn't know what he's in for.

Of all the most conceited, over-confident moves i've ever seen, this one is near the top of the list. Holly thinks that bringing me meant we had double the chance since malaysians apparently looove foreigners. her logic was: if he wasn't interested he'd have gone for me instead. it didn't even cross her mind that he might be gay. or gee, actually, really, uninterested. Or in some fulfilling relationship with someone else. Holly practically has bigger balls than most guys.

We went for dessert next. Needless to say, i brought my purse.

2002-11-06T11:25:00.000-05:00

Christmas Alone

Those two words up there are just sad. and anyone who celebrates christmas shouldn't ever have to face it. like me. Sure sure i'll have my parents, brother. I'm grateful i have family. so what if no one i've been celebrating christmas with the past 8 years will be around this year. so what if all my friends will be having a good time and the only time i'll come into mind is when they toast all the poor losers stuck at home with their mom and dad who don't celebrate christmas.

So what if my girlfriend won't be opening her presents with me.
Or vice versa.

So what if my present to her will probably be by mail, and broken and dented for all i know.

This just fucks up the whole thing. I can't walk into a mall without thinking ohh Lis will love that....ohh i wish she could see that.... I can't meet people and guess what kind of opinion Lis would have of them. who she'll get along with. i look at a menu and can instantly spot ten dishes she'll like. everything i do i wish i did with her. Everyone i met i wish she's here. every thought i have...oh dammit

I'm not made for long distance relationships. or does everyone go through this too? probably not with anyone who isnt worth it.

It's... ..... ........just... .............yknow?

I'm off to call her then go sleep..or something. Pretend she'll be here for christmas. or i'll be there. anything but this.

2002-11-06T11:17:00.000-05:00

What The Hell?

What's with this country? First i passed by a bootleg vcd shop in a housing estate 2 roads away from a police station, and then i see one right outside the bangsar police station too! that policeman walked right by and didn't bat an eye! I knew we had a problem with bribery and lack of responsibility in the police force....but right outside???

Two tourists taking pictures will have some nice stories to tell their friends about Malaysia, Land of Piracy.

Meanwhile, i think i'm taking a break from travelling around....i need some R & R around here

2002-11-06T01:46:00.000-05:00

Die Arrogant Asshole

No one, no bloody one who likes his head where it is, connected to his neck, tells me what to do. And if he does, he has a deathwish.

Go and do this Jes, then Go and do that and that and that, and make sure that you kiss my ass and lick my boots clean when you're done.

Let's be clear on one point here. I don't obey. I grace people with my kind presence. Sometimes, i lift my lil finger and offer some assistance. That's all. Don't abuse it.

Mik, Mik, Mik, consider yourself un-invited for the weekend house party. I'm putting the word out. It's as good as done. Don't bother showing up for the birthday party either.

I know i'm back when i have enough swing with the party throwers to ostracise someone (who deserves it). So what if the party throwers are my cousins ::angel smile::

Apologise, and we'll see how far it gets you

2002-11-06T01:33:00.000-05:00

?

Is it just me or is haloscan down again? I should admit to someone, anyone (ie:Ric) that i accidentally downloaded some harmful file that wouldn't be removed, deleted or quarantined yesterday. Which is kinda awkward cause i'm one of those people who stick their passwords and usernames everywhere around the computer on post-it notes

What? i have a bad memory.

is it any wonder everyone always wants to come into my room and just yknow, mess around with your computer...you don't mind right, Jess?

I guess i have to move them all away for some time now....what a hassle...i just had it down pat too. Hotmail-upper right hand corner, photo album- middle top and blocking view of websites, blog- middle of tower, and so on so forth. it's a wonder i have any online privacy left.

2002-11-05T09:33:00.000-05:00

AND

Who the hell came up with the idea that sex, in any form, is unnatural anyway?

Unless it's inter-species, then never mind.

Whoever came up with that law wouldn't know sex if it bit them in their ass, because whatever it is stuck up their ass is so big it's covering the rest of the pimpled surface.

AND to them it's probably not known as sex, fucking, making love, boinking, getting some or anything. it's known as the act of procreation.

I'm not even feeling pissed anymore. just kind of sympathetic for them.

2002-11-05T09:23:00.000-05:00

Hmmm

Was just thinking of the Gay Pride Parade and how much i used to love torturing myself looking at all those beautiful, beautiful, eat your heart out, definitely unattainable hunks of meat there (mostly unattainable anyway).

Anyway, i was thinking about that cause Ric just asked me how it was being a lesbian. Lesbian? who said i was one? i mean...who said i am one? now i think i'm confusing myself. if i had to fill in a form a few minutes ago and they asked us to check x heterosexual, x homosexual and x bisexual, well gee guess what? i would have ticked the first one without even thinking about it.

Well shit. i guess now i'm thinking about it. Ric just thinks i'm cuckoo that i can actually not realise it. i think i'm cuckoo too. but i suppose this was coming up sooner or later...i don't know i guess all the people i know swing around so much it wasn't even an issue and everyone probably assumed it was only a matter of time before it happened to me (not that it hasn't...but nothing serious...come to think of it i haven't had much serious relationships at all...hmmm).

Shit. I hate it when things like these just hit me in the face. in malaysia, i'm part of a very teeny, closet minority...not that i'm not used to being in the minority...just the minorities that people wish they belonged in, not the ones they shun. i need to get out of this country now. what? shit, this is the country that jailed that what-sis-name deputy prime minister longer for practising sodomy and having unnatural sex than for betraying the country. not like i'm getting any right now seeing as to how my better half is a loooong looooong way away.

Hmmm...i guess that makes me a bi then....although i think we use the word omni-sexual , or just plain sexual, amongst my group more....seeing as to how gender is hard to define when guys have boobs and dress like women and some girls used to be boys, wear a sock in their pants, whatever. So if someone isn't limited by the words female, male....then....bisexual doesn't really count does it?

In general i like men more. But i like Lis more than anyone else. ever. So i guess i'm a very ambiguous person now. Finally, regaining a foothold in my personality, however stifled here.

2002-11-05T09:10:00.000-05:00

Hee Hee

I like going around meeting new people....the good thing about being back for so long is all my friends are starting to crawl outta the woodworks again......and this time round, they're the ones introducing me to other people! I met a bona fide Turbanator this morning while jogging with Mun...

Apparently his turban style is known as The Titanic

Heh...i can see why....the idea of all that sweat underneath cooking up the hair's kinda a turn-off though. i'm just amazed the turban didn't bounce off midway

2002-11-05T08:35:00.000-05:00

Officially a Paine

Which Founding Father Are You?

I was going to call myself a paine in the ass but michele of asmallvictory (see blogrolling links) beat me to it. i don't think it's that accurate but Ric just saw the results....and what can i say...he's still laughing and pointing like the man of 10 year old mentality that he is.

Times like these i think to myself why couldn't i have a sister?

2002-11-05T08:21:00.000-05:00

I Know The Malaysian Air Is Getting to Me:

When:
I start to like pop music
Maybe Bangsar isn't as sad as i think it is
Gee the clothes here aren't half bad after all
Ick....i'm 2 pounds heavier....how'd that happen?
AAAAAAAHHHHRRRGGGGGG I SAW A RAT /(cockroach/ weird insect/ cat jump on the table/big lizard) !!!!!!!.... .... ...and everyone else is still eating.
i ask 'why's it so hot?' and everyone gives me this look.
Motorcycles on the road everywhere are normal after all
Pedestrian? what pedestrian?
No one i know has been involved in anything dangerous or highly illegal today. cept for drugs.
Every adult who's not my dad/mom is my aunt/ uncle
I haven't heard fuck/ shit/ damn/ god/ jesus/ holy christ/ bitch/ bastard on the radio for ages and i think it's normal
6 meals a day? so what?
i think i should keep quiet about Lis. which is a first.
i tell them my friend is mormon and they ask if that means they're from mongolia
There are subtitles on-every-goddamned-show-i-watch.
It's scary to see tons of malay soldiers marching around because it makes me think of the cuckoo ones.

2002-11-05T07:46:00.000-05:00

This or That Tuesday

1. Art or science museum?

Ohhh dear....first question and i'm stumped...i suppose art museum...i can go there for hours and hours just staring at one painting whereas i can learn science stuff anywhere

2. Play or watch sports?

Play tennis and bowling, watch everything else

3. Zoo or circus?

Zoo.....unless we're talking about the malaysian zoo then hmmmm.....

4. Theater: film or live on stage?

Live on stage. definitely.

5. Rock concert or the symphony?

What can i say? nothing beats a good rock concert

6. Movies: see them in a theater or wait for DVD/VHS?

Theatre, then if it's good enough -dvd

7. Board games or computer/video games?

Both. no contest.

8. Hobbies: crafts (art, cooking, home repair, etc) or collecting (coins, stamps, rocks, etc)?

Crafts. i love pencilling.

9. Watch TV or read a book?

Book. Growing up as a kid who only needed 6 hours of sleep, and crappy tv channels there was only so much to do.

10. Eating out: fancy, white-tablecloth restaurant or casual dining?

Depends on company right?

2002-11-05T06:56:00.000-05:00

On Second Thought

I take back what i said maybe life ain't so bad after all...what with all those warm fuzzy feelings :) i got a call 2 minutes after my blog yesterday and whaddya know...Lis was cooking... ::and giggling when she heard the message i left on the machine....honestly, i have to get rid of that thing::...i had to listen to her chew on that great vermicelli fry that i love while we talked...
Wait wait waiiit....it doesn't end there...i got another call this morning after jogging...it's times like these i realise how much i took for granted even though i knew how lucky i was. It's sort of a catch 22...
On another bright note, i've just had dinner at an aunt's place (a ritual i'm sure everyone with a recent stamp on their passport is subject to). Well, it wasn't the aunt (hehe) or the dinner that was the bright note, but her two delightful little spitz puppies. I've never been so charmed by any males that drooled and ran around on all fours
Note to self: Never wear black leather pants when playing with dogs.
2nd note to self: Find decent drycleaners.

2002-11-04T12:44:00.000-05:00

Well Life's Not All Great After All

Nothing like not being able to get someone on the phone when you should be able to to drive you nuts wondering what she's doing. and why. and thank god there aren't any news about bombing happy yahoos who've already ruined enough lives around out wrecking others too. so i presume she's safe. from jihad assholes.

now i just have to wonder if she's in the shower. or out with someone else. or cooking (i still don't understand why she refuses to answer the phone when she's cooking???? it drives me nuts sometimes when i'm in the shower, the phone's ringing, and she just won't pick up cause she's making pancakes.

But i love idiosyncrasies. i surround my life with them. and one of my idiosyncrasies is the need to know everything. The endings to the movie, the solution to a mystery novel, why my girlfriend isn't answering her phone. i need to know and i need to know NOW.

Starting a blog where i can type whatever i think and drive myself even nuttier might not have been my best idea.

Ric is driving me nuts. He's had his (for all i know hours long) talk with his girlfriend. if he wants so badly to talk some more he can use his own phone. i a m d r i v i n g m y s e l f n u t s h e r e

Warning label: Do not leave overly obsessive people alone to their own speculations. she is okay she is okay she is okay she will answer your call she will call soon she loves you yes she's calling she'll call now go.

I'm off to sit and stare at the phone. again. and yes, i'm aware i can get very paranoid. u should see me on (even more) coffee.

2002-11-04T12:16:00.000-05:00

Well Fed and Happy

Well. The count is one curious mother, one sleeping father, and one jealous brother. I don't care. I'm well fed and happy. To placate Ric i bought him some pomelos from ipoh, which he loves, and some chili thing my friends told me would help me earn plus points too....Ric's just sore that we didn't buy some supper for him but who wants to sit in a stank up car?
I just had, for the first time in almost ten? years, Ipoh chicken noodles......i feel blessed and happy. Why didn't anyone remind me how great those damn stuff taste? althought there was some damned funky (and i don't mean funky in a good way) chinese headbanging music going on, my appetite was on the rolllll babyyy
I'm bringing grumpy head to Ipoh sometime soon for mooooore.....
That is, if grumpy head will get off the phone with his girlfriend so i can call mine again. This sucks. Am i the only one with an overloaded mobile phone bill?

2002-11-04T08:46:00.000-05:00

I'm impatient

Always did know i'm impatient.....my brother came home looking for some company from the same generation as him....and....well....i always was impatient....guess i should have left a message or something saying i'm in ipoh visiting someone.....i don't see what the fuss is about i'll be back again in a few hours....

I especially don't understand it when everyone else in my family is as much of a hot head as i am.
I'm turning my handphone off for the rest of the day now regardless of the impact upon my life...i cant handle my parents today

2002-11-04T07:21:00.000-05:00

This or That Tuesday

I love this game...Since i started my blog late, i'll do last week's here, then do the next one tomorrow :)
For the unintiated, visit ailurophile's website for information on this or that tuesday

1. Apples or pears?

Pears...definitely....apples are too..crunchy...it's like chewing on a big insect with too much juices

2. Oranges or grapefruit?

Grapefruit, definitely. i never did like oranges too much.

3. Broccoli or cauliflower?

Ewwww......although maybe cauliflower wouldnt be that bad if i didn't keep thinking of cauliflower ears everytime i hear that

4. Green beans or lima beans?

French beans i suppose.....

5. Winter or summer squash?

Summer squash :)

6. Blueberries or strawberries?

Blueberries!!!! I'm the easiest sucker to bribe with blueberries and cranberries!!!

7. Tomatoes or potatoes?

Fried potato, baked potato, mashed potato, poutine, roasted whatever :)

8. Peaches or plums?

Ooooh....toughie.......umm...Plums!...no, Peaches!!....Plums!! plums....yeah

No...peaches....hehhee reminds me of that singer that uses a dildo on stage...hehe...

9. Peas or carrots?

Carrots. Anything is better than peas.

10. Asparagus or corn?

Depends really.....corn i suppose....

2002-11-04T06:50:00.000-05:00

I See The Future

I see the future
First, a phone call, today, today, today, tomorrow x5, and so on
Next, i see a phone bill, end of the month, longer than the great wall of china
Then, a few seconds later, my father, slightly bent over, clutching his chest, frothing at the mouth
And then, my credit cards will be cancelled.
Lastly, a lawsuit to their dear daughter, who ran away from home to live a treacherous and family shaming life.

2002-11-04T06:36:00.000-05:00

:(

Lis has recently acquired a new set of jugs (har har...no...as in type you find in kitchens), and an aztec type rug for the room. I wish i was there to see it. I hate not being part of her life. i hate that i wasn't there to oooh ahhh with her over the rugs and jugs. rugs and jugs. okay. my bad but i cant help it if the play on words, however unintentional, sounds bad.

I wish she knew precisely what is happening in mine too. I swore never to go into ldrs (long distance relationships) a long time ago. it's like having a fish for a pet. and look now. she doesn't know which cup i used to drink my morning tea in, she doesn't know what i'm wearing how i look yada yada....all the little subtle nuances someone is supposed to know about ur everyday life when you're in love. it's not there.

i suppose i'm beating around the fucking mulberry bush again. i just want so much to know what's happening with her...where she walked, who she talked to, who she thought of (memememe pls be me), what she ate. i want to be with her right now. i feel like getting on the next plane, and sending a message to my mom saying:

Look, fuck Osama, i'm already dying over here i might as well die happy. ps: gone to visit my girlfriend.

Well that ought to at least stop her for complaining about all the boyfriends i had. Am consciously stopping myself from adding in the words: and will have because i am determined to make it work with Lis.

2002-11-04T05:30:00.000-05:00

Nothing Better

Nothing better than grabbing your friend's one year ++ niece and teaching her how to say:

What's up nigger?

Hot hootchie mama!

Shake that booty!

What's up, phat nigger?

Bite me!

Oh yeah baby, oh yeah

She has no idea what she's saying but she looooves the attention! Our lil diva starlet...Her dad loves it. Her mother's gonna murder us for tainting her kid when she gets home.

2002-11-04T04:46:00.000-05:00

The Things I Find....

I'm not sure if it's funny or just plain wrong. Found this link in conjunction with: Happy Deevali, People... :)
Salma and Sabina Agha sing Abba in Hindi: (Toba Toba) Mamma Mia

And for all those people out there just dying for the experience of touching a man's breast

2002-11-04T04:10:00.000-05:00

Mi Vida Loca

I just met Bost (Bryan something something....his initials read BOST) today....Everything was cool as we sat in Coffeebean, drinking our designer coffee....when...

::Bost fishes out pack of ciggies ::

Me: ?
Me: After all that crap you give me you have a pack of CAMELS? That's the kind without the filter!
(Still) Me: What next? Gay?

Bost: Lights up, takes a drag of the ciggie, smiles, and pulls down the collar of his t-shirt as he leans forward and flashes me his pale and skinny chest.

*Silence*

Narrator: Bost has recently acquired a tattoo of three dots on his neck. Yeappp. The Mi Vida Loca dots. The type NY gangsters have. Mi Vida Loca? My Crazy Life? BOST?

Me: I hate to be the one to tell you this Bost...but...umm...u know that tattoo ya have? Umm...ummmm....New Yorkers...as in gangsters....sort of have that unofficially trademarked....

*Silent thought: and they only tattoo that on their hands and faces so they're gonna think you're some retard with a deathwish*

Bost: Yeah I know....Cool huh?

::Silence:: ...I'm hearing the X-Files Soundtrack playing around his head.

I decided then and there "what am i worried about anyway? Mr i-did-economics-in-cambridge will never go to New York and get killed. what are the chances?", sipped my coffee, and ignored the fact that the only time Bost actually inhaled anything from the ciggie he choked.

Life couldn't get weirder.

Me: Now be a gentleman and offer me one of those.

2002-11-03T02:18:00.000-05:00

Glory Holes

I asked Ric if there were glory holes in Malaysia. I think he's insulted that I should ask (being the prime alpha male that he is), and has gone off rockclimbing or some other male activity (hehe). I guess it must be painful for him too. Parents and bratty sister under the same roof.

I'm possibly the only person on earth who answers to the name 'Brats'.

I suppose they'd have glory holes in those seedy gay bars like Blue Bunny and Liquid Kitty. ... ...i refuse to explain how i know of these places ::hee hee....probably for more innocent reasons than anyone would think::

2002-11-03T02:01:00.000-05:00

There Might Be Hope

Ohh Goodie, one of the few people i know still in the country returned my call. Kim - cool chinese gal, speaks well, tits the size of china and the most sarcastic dry wit i know.

She's visiting her hometown but shall be back in KL in a week or earlier and we're gonna use her as an excuse to hang out. Then we'll visit all the "Forbidden Places". Aaaah you know what they say about forbidden fruit ;)

My parents trust her more than they trust me. I don't know why that girl is the devil incarnate. She has more -ine habits that i do. Nicot-ine, Caffe-ine, Morph-ine. And woop..what do we have here? a girl who just passed her drug test (heh heh heh). One thing all of us admit about Kim. She knows her way around parents. Charmingly polite, a tad shy and all thsoe lil manners that parents love. Not that I'm a clod or something but she sets out to charm the parents. We all call her when we need someone to take care of the parent factor so we can get out of the house.

Kim's also the one of those people who packs up the nicotine and tar levels and blows rings (ahem. smoke rings), and not carry a whiff of cigarette smell around them. Always a useful talent to learn, that.

Actually our family goes way back. Her grandfather or someone was the first Roberts scholar in Malaysia and my grandfather was trying to be the first Roberts scholar. Or something. Heh.

I wish Lis was here. I'm sure she'd like all the places I can't take her to since I'm under house arrest. Like the Cheong Fatt Tze museum. The caves and hot springs in Ipoh. My childhood bedroom. Oh waiiit...I can bring her there... :: whimsical smiles :: horns sprout on head ::

I know my life is so sad now when i have to look forward to someone visiting me practically a week away... ... ..

Okay. That's it. Time to call the ol gang.

2002-11-03T01:41:00.000-05:00

Osama is ruining my life

Well here I am, back in Malaysia for almost a month now. I miss travelling. I miss Lis. I miss my goddamned apartment and my goddamned life! Damn Osama and all those bombing happy yahoos out there. My parents think I'll be safer in Malaysia. MALAYsia. I suppose they have the 1 die, all die concept.

And oh yeah. MALAYsia is so much safer now that Bali just got bombed. I mentioned it and dug my own grave. Now, not only am i back in MALAYsia, i'm not allowed to go clubbing anywhere hip, or travelling around the beaches. So i'm just here. On the internet. and watching vcds. All bootlegged. I have no idea where on earth we get the originals here.

Ric is no happier about coming back here either. I think he misses his girlfriend too although he'll never admit it. On second thought, he might just miss not having parents living in the same place. We're moving out to a condo later in the month if the decorating is done.

Meanwhile, we're both living under the same roof with our parents, pretending we don't have a love life, because our parents would roll over and die after coughing out their intestines, and putting up with the 'when are you getting married?' norm. Ric says i'll get used to it. I'm waiiiiting.

Fuck u Osama. Fuck U Bad. I hope US gets their claws on u and rips u apart shred by shred, bit by bit.

Okay. I admit it. I might not actually be pissed at the whole i'm-living-with-my-parents-till-the-end-of-the-month-and-therefore-have-no-sex-life (or any life at all, for that matter). I'm probably more pissed that the first real relationship i have going on, one that's making me happy and the days so beautiful (Yes, the days were actually beautiful...now it's just sorta hazy), and i have to leave because some psycho jihad murderer is out and about.

And i know i'm in trouble when i'm worrying about someone else more than myself. Or maybe i don't really feel it that much. But i do know this. Both of us don't have much practise at relationships, much less monogamous relationships. I'm worried for both of us now.

Please God, take Osama in your hand, and chuck him in the middle of an army camp in US. Better yet, the streets of New York so everyone who's lost someone they love can have a piece of him (an eyeball, a toe , whatever) to rip off his body. And if i lose Lis so help me, I will be there to pull off whatever connects that hare brain of his to the rest of his body.

2002-11-02T10:34:00.000-05:00

The Jessica Mia Chronicles

::..Names..::
I have such a long name, you'd think I'm royalty, but the only form of royalty I've ever been is a pain in the ass. For now though, Jessica Mia will suffice.

My 'Normal' Nicknames
Jessie Mia, Jemia, Jem, Mi, Jemi, Jesmia.

My 'Other' Nicknames
Jamie, Jeremiah, James, Jerboland, Meandr, Poler (don't ask), Pototo (don't ask either...pronounced like...i dunno...machine gun being shot...cept it's going po-to-to), Table, Huckles, Little Brats (my brother calls me that. Apparently i had the brat factor of 10 kids in my childhood days. now it's probably down to 3)

Now we have that outta the goddamned way what can I say. I'm in my early 20s, and have been a student all my life. I've done a bit of freelancing here and there but the catch is my father freaks when i get a job worrying whether i'll get tricked, misguided, robbed, hurt, or *gasp shiver* find a boyfriend who'll unchain my chastity belt (too late daddy. in all categories. and m o r e ). This coming from the same man who used to grumble that I never seem to do anything with my life. So I just study and do loads of stuff here and there like tennis, wakeboarding, writing, painting, sculpting, shopping and bumming off my allowance ;)

::Academia Woo Woo::

How long have I been studying? I've degrees in Bio-Science, Bio-Tech, Journalism and History of art. I'm currently working on my Business and IT degree. I've never been the best at any of the courses (well, maybe journalism was a + point). I'm veeery close to dropping the business degree (honestly, i took it for the IT which didn't turn out that hot and acounting is possibly the most boring subject i've ever taken). I've dropped space design, bio-engineering and mathematics courses (too fake, too long, too droll. respectively.). Plus my (ex) boyfriend dropped out of the mathematics course.

I have a degree in economics too but i paid a guy friend to do the assignments, and a girlfriend who did the course the year before to sit for the exams. Can i say this withuot getting into trouble? ::snigger:: it's fun imagining someone trying to calculate my age. don't bother. it doesnt reflect my age. just accept that i'm under 25 and got all that done ok? there's a reason why i wasn't the best at all the courses. 2 words: word overload.

I've been dancing since i was 4. Ballet, Ballroom, Modern, Jazz, Classical, Tap <--I really, really, for some reason sucked at tap, Jive, Line (eep, i know) and Latin. Did i miss anything? I can also passably play the guitar, but i dont because i want to keep my manicure. i can't play the drums but i'm great at getting tunes out of different table tops (hat tip to my indian friend, Rubin (Rubies, biggest queen on the block ;P) for teaching me that)

One thing I can't do: Yoga. I fall asleep. I can't cook either, but I love good food. I guess I'm lucky that I got my mom's metabolism otherwise I'd be the size of a fucking whale or something. pause. reflects upon image of whales humping like land mammals. so that's where all those underwater earthquakes come from. spoken like a true biology graduate. I eat at each fast-food chain an average of once a year. I don't approve of kids eating Mcdonalds regularly. They should know there's proper food out there

Speaking of which- i love french food (and men), north indian food (and the men too), Italian food (ditto men), American country food (American men = variety) and sometimes Chinese food (but I'm sometimes allergic to the food, and always the men)

Speaking of men....My...the amount of disasters there...women too. :/

::..Family..::
One set of parents

One brother (Eric- older, overly protective, and about as commitment phobic as i am. which is very, and painter cum investor. whatta combination.)

Around 40-50? cousins

I'm only close to around 15 of them

You know what? i'm boring myself so i'm not gonna bother anymore. The best way to know someone is through their personality and hopefully that'll shine through in the blogs

2002-11-01T13:27:00.000-05:00

aaah yes...i always knew this would happen...one day, i'd get on the net, and tell the whole world about my life, and let them judge for themselves how strange/ mundane/ typically dysfunctional it is. Here we go then....

W a r n i n g: B i t e s w h e n b o r e d , d r u n k , a n n o y e d , a w a k e, a s l e e p , b a t h i n g , b r e a t h i n g a n d h a p p y.
To tell the truth though, this isn't my first website...I had a site before this but I suppose i fell into the typical old trap of being restricted from saying whatever the hell i wanted to cause my parent's friends kids paid a visit to my website, and gee, my parents found out their daughter has a sex life.
All I can say is at least i passed the drug test. So what if i'm great friends with a total of 9 friends spread out over the 4 labs here that specialise in testing for drugs *shrug*. i don't know if anyone helped, but i do know i stood a decent chance of passing it anyway.
so now, suitably chastened (well, sort of, but not really), i've decided to start again. This time i'm not publicising. i've also decided my first topic (that might drag on forever) will be about sexuality. Of course my mind is really...well i hate the term airy so we'll just say distracted so i might forget about that anytime soon. feel free to remind me.
unless there'd already been a topic change then ur just being a dick.
So there begins my blog.