French Face

And now, ladies, gentlemen, and lil bickering boys, i give you in conjunction with me having my first french fry at 12 years old, the first french guy to make me happy through the many wonders of the internet at 20+ years old:

09h09

See French Guy. See French Guy Smile. Laugh. I know, i know...i should stop laughing at funny looking people....i can't help it though....he takes a picture everyday at 9.09....and ohh hahaha he makes me laugh (let me be clear on one point here: he's not butt ugly he just has a rubbery type face and these 'i'm a joker' type expressions). he looks like a real fun guy to hang out with. his friends get part of their 15 minutes of fame there too. Actually...he kind of reminds me of Bart (good guy, bad name). right kim?

Why do i always end up pulling out drinks from the fridge when i get up to pee? wait...How did i get on the internet? and most of all, is that the last goddamned bud(weiser) i'm drinking? if it's not bad enough that it's hard to find the beers and drinks i like in this country my brother's probably been breaking into my fridge and raiding my drinks too. grrr.....i'm going to hit him so hard tomorrow he's going to have to stick a toothbrush up his arse to brush his teeth.

Quote shamelessly lifted off Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. I had a big big crush on Guy Pearce there. Or should we call him Felicia?

Okay. i'm officially out of drinks. i don't think i'll wait till tomorrow to annihilate that useless waste of sperm feeding off my beer. Time to go.

Play That Funky Music White Boy

Ohhh sexy...I can't take my eyes off moloko's sing it back video. i love watching people dance. i'm aware of what is said about good dancers and their bed statistics,and i'm going to be incredibly shallow here and say i agree. Look, if someone can pull all the moves and seductively move and gyrate in a public place, fully clothed, what makes you think it won't be much much sweeter in a room with half (and later, none) of the clothes factor?

She's not the best dancer, but she certainly has some moves that keeps my eyes glued on her. or it could be that dress. i love her outfit there. so shiny and sexy. it's a good thing i'm going back to my Lis soon before i explode. Our phone conversations are very.....well....intense...as it is.

Another good dancer would be usher. ugly bloke, smooth moves, good body. i'm no big fan of his music but everytime he comes up and starts moving.....i...just...can't....and even though everyone is saying justin timberlake's dancing is so great in his new video (whatever it's called), and i must admit the moves are pretty good, it's the choreographer i want to meet. oh yes. i want to meet whoever it was who thought of that dance. just to see what he's (or she, but what are the chances ei?) like.

I can't wait to go to sleep and think about dancing men and women. the reason for this post? oh no, not moloko. moloko is , like this post, a result of the reason. i got posted a cd burned with images of my girlfriend dancing. so i can't watch it anywhere else but in my room, but who could ask for a better present huh? :smile:

Now if you don't mind, there's a certain dance show i'm off to watch ;D

Friday Face-Offs: Tastes

1) sweet vs. sour

Sour all the wayyyy....i have a sour tooth ;)

2) hot drinks vs. cold drinks

Cold drinks, definitely. Unless it's my daily dose of coffee/tea. I hate cold coffee or tea. And no, i do not like iced lemon tea. it is possibly the most annoying drink ever. Also, i'll have to be boinkers to drink any hot ones when i'm in malaysia....if there's one thing i forgot about malaysia is the bloody humidity. *takes a moment to bless whoever the hell invented air-conditioning*

3) vanilla vs. chocolate

Vanilla. No, chocolate. Vanilla. Okay this could be a problem. I think i'll just choose irish cream or green tea (is that weird? i mean....i really like those macha / ocha ice creams)

4) grape vs. orange

Grapes if they're sweet, seedless, and peeled. I can be such a princess (ie: pain in the arse)

5) pasta vs. potatoes

NOOOOOOOOO!! Evil Question!! Next!

6) soup vs salad

Soups. I'm a soup person. it's very comforting to me. I mean...i even like those cold fruit soups that everyone else finds disgusting.

7) breakfast, lunch, or dinner

Dinner. But only because of the company i get :)

8) Mexican vs. Italian

Ohh...dammit....Italian. It's those lovely fish dishes. but maybe...hmm....this quiz is making me feel very indecisive. Me no likey feeling this way.

9) Japanese vs. Chinese

Japanese- i really love sashimi. i can out-eat anyone when it comes to raw fish. Besides, monosodium glutamate makes my tongue feel funny. years of studying science just so i know what msg stands for. pathetic, really.

10) eat-in vs take-out

eat-in. i don't like it when food gets too cold. besides, take-outs means the maids will end up cleaning after me since i'm too goddamned lazy to do it myself, and god knows they deserve a break since the whole family came back.

What is it with me and taking all these type of tests? I'll probably never figure it out without diggin deep into those lil corners of my mind, and i ain't going there honey! Quiz is from Daily Dose by John T.

Ps: It's 1.15 in the morning, 4 coffee addicts are up looking for their caffeine fix and nary a coffee bean to be found. Ladies and gentlemen, please evacuate the building immediately. This could get dangerous. And please, no sudden movements.

MP3?

Don't. Talk. To. Me. About. MP3s. I. Don't. Care.

Looks it's not like i'm a complete nincompoop with no idea what an mp3 is....it's some file format or something people use to download songs right? Well, some people just don't like downloading stuff off the net. Some people have crashed and infected with viruses so many computers that her father considered revoking all computer access rights. Some people, would rather shell out a few dollars to lessen the chance of them completely ruining another computer. Some people, for that matter, dislike being on the computer repair guy's speed dial.

So i haven't ever downloaded an mp3 in my life. i probably never will. i didn't have my first french fry till i was 12. Makes an mp3 look like a small matter doesn't it? Wait. Maybe you didn't get me the first time. I ate my first french fry when i was 12. and all some people want to do during dinner is talk about the mp4 format for downloading videos. Make do like everyone else. watch tv.

Go ROME!

Temple To Gay Love Unearthed Rome

In other news, i just found a very crusty, old email from a 13 year old boy i've met twice, with an invitation to cream his arse. at a computer online game called earth 2025, that is. i have no idea how he found that email address considering 1) even i hardly remember it exists. 2) even the ad agencies don't really know about it.

Aaaahh....a mystery to be solved, that. And no, of course i'm not about sign up for some online warfare game so my ass will get kicked by everyone else. i'm better at the personal war poke eyes out type thing. Besides, i have a tendency to get addicted to computer games (sokoban, jezzball, tetris, and bloody pinball) and god knows i have enough addictions to deal with as it is. like my incresingly appalling dependency to/ addiction on the internet.

Natural Hair Colour

I've heard of people 'forgetting' their own natural hair colour. it happens. you had this particular shade of brown hair almost a decade ago, before you discovered the secret delights of drenching your hair in chemical dyes. Almost a decade, and several mutant hair colours later, as far as you're concerned, your natural hair colour is blue/ green/ purple/ psychedelic pink. your could have been born with hair shit brown, mouse brown, light brown, oak or whatever. it makes no difference. Life's too short to remember the exact shade of brown your hair was when you were born, before you discovered your natural hair colour in a bottle.

How on earth though, i'd like to know, can my parents think i'm a natural blond? *insert favourite dumb blond joke here*.

Mom: Jessica, have you considered letting your hair grow again? maybe back to the lovely blond hair you were born with.

Silence.

Me: Mom. I've never had blond hair.

I don't know what gave her that idea. especially since there hasn't been any blonds in the family for quite some time. Mothers are supposed to have fond lil memories of what an adorable brat you used to be right? right? am i right? anyone? who's that blond bitch who's sitting in my mother's memories?

Maybe my mother's high on drugs. Maybe i have a secret blond sister somewhere. Maybe i should go back to sleep and pretend this morning didn't happen.

Tits Tits Tits

There're people with shrinking tits, big tits, and there's The World's Heaviest Tits. Sooo not work-safe.

Link lifted off Fun Junkie

Read: Doctor My Eyes

People with Cats That Hate You. Excerpt: Anubis hates you because he is a god, and you are not. He is displeased with the mere mortals that surround him, he will shit on their beds. Charmed, i'm sure.

Links via Barbtries a Blog

Did I Ruin Your Life?

Well i'll be damned. another person in a crumpled heap on the floor, crying, and pointing a finger at me.

Awww poor baby did i ruin your life too?

Well you can still get it if u want...maybe if you stick your hand in deep enough

Dear me....Don't you wish you knew what i did?

I flushed down every single packet of drugs i own.

I told all of you to stop laughing at me quitting party packs and to come get the rest before my willpower ran out.

And it did run out. Bye bye. *Flush*

I'm actually proud of myself :D

This or That Tuesday

1. Hershey's Kisses: with or without almonds?

Without, definitely....i don't like chocs with any nuts, raisins or fruits in them. they make my chocolates taste weird. that being said i do like certain herbs fried in butter then added to chocolates.......::heeheeheee:: ::coughgrasscough:: heeheehee....i actually get happy thinking of it....

2. Wizard of Oz: Scarecrow or Tin Man?

Toto :P i like dogs.

3. Meat eater or vegetarian?

Vegetarian for a week every month....but only for detox reasons....practically carnivorous rest of them time

4. Buy books or borrow them?

Buy....i hate sharing and i hate getting those musty books. also i have a healthy dislike for those creepy quiet places.

5. At the bank: ATM or human teller?

Atm....bank tellers get rude sometimes which makes me bitchy and vindictive which leads to meetings with managers which.....umm...not that it's ever happened before, of course. ahem

6. Oil or gas (or other) heat?

Fireplace. i'm probably one of the least eco friendly people ever.

7. Pen or pencil?

depends on what i'm drawing. afterthought: unless it's writing then maybe a pen.

8. Drive or use public transit?

Drive....or better yet, driven around. i'm not much of a driver. surprisingly though i have never experienced road rage, and i still don't get how anyone else does.

9. Who IS James Bond: Sean Connery or Pierce Brosnan (or any of the others in between)?

Have never watched a single james bond movie. is that bad?

10. Your ideal breakfast: full (bacon/sausage, eggs, pancakes, etc) or continental (bagels, muffins, fruit, cereal)?

BOTH. I'm a braeffast piggie i am. don't make me choose. :D

Horny. Very.

It's been more than a month since i've seen Lis...that means...it's been more than a month since i've been on a date. curled up and (not) watch a movie together in the theater. it's been over a month since anyone's pinned my arms behind my back, above my head, and stolen kisses from me. i eat my dinner in public without flirting or seeing how much body contact lis and i can get away with. I miss smelling her perfume everywhere, especially on my pillows. although she insists my perfume is the one invading the bedroom.

Let's not even talk about sex. especially since i haven't had any for over a month.

In fact, the word cunnilingus is of as much use to me right now as armadillo. armadillo might even be more useful.

i thought blogging about it would help. like maybe i'll stop thinking about beautiful naked bodies after a while. but i'll just have to face it. i'm....So. Incredibly. Horny. right now it isn't going to happen anytime soon.

Hate

Hate is a very strong word. But if anyone deserves it it has to be the Ku Klux Klan. Racist bigots.

This is an excerpt from their site:

However, many in Congress want to pass the Employment Non Discrimination Act (ENDA) It will require ANYONE to hire homosexuals, lesbians, and transsexuals even when they will be in close proximity to children. Why do the politicians want to pass this law so badly.

And the polls for people to choose from:

Homosexuals may be small in number, but big on campaign donations

The entertainment industry has tainted anyone opposed to homosexuals as evil. The politicians think the reputation placed on them by entertainment elitists is more important than the nation's youth.

Politicians are just too wimpy to take a stand

Homosexual agitators hold important positions of influence in Washington D.C.

You don't exactly need to major in statistics to realise how biased the (racist bigotic) KKK is. Everyone in there needs a stake driven through that thing in their chest posing as a heart.

This might have be brought on by a certain very dear friend of mine being unjustifiably offended for no other reason than not being white. I am not going to mention his accomplishments, his kindness or any other trait, because it is not necessary to refute dumb unbased accusations of him being less worthy of living as part of the society in america just because he isnt white.

Go on then. Go to their site and read how they'll justify their beliefs and actions. How they're not racist, they're not prejudiced against anyone asides from white people of the church...they just want a whole america populated with people just like them that's all. Self-righteous Liars. Calling themselves america's last hope. they don't even qualify as america's last resort. And if someone thinks i'm wrong, i dare you. tell me. Go on then. start a fight. Tell me what's so great about people who refer to martin luther king, jr, as a race mixing communist. leave your address if you dare.

Ummm...Whoops?

Remember when we taught this little 2 year old girl to say a whole load of crap like what's up nigger?

Well apparently that might not have been such a good idea cause she was left with the nanny who didn't understand a word her ward was saying when she greeted

1) the guard


2)the gardener


3) every other person

with a very jolly What's up niggah?

Her parents came home with some friends only to have them greeted as niggers too.

It may have been wrong, but it's too funny to regret.

Cheers, Kim

Official thanks to kim for regulating my comments and getting rid of all those comments by assholes who insist upon putting up links to my old website and photo albums

It's good to have friends i can trust with no life beyond the internet

:D

Whoa....back off kim....down down....matte kudasai...

It's Never Easy

Jess: I've a ticket home in december...

Mom: home? where are you going that you need to come back home to malaysia in december?

Why do i get the feeling she's going to make this very difficult for me?

Jess: I mean i'm off to celebrate christmas in december...in america

Mom: guess again.

::insert big fight::

What's done is done. and what's done can be exhausting.

In other news, i've been looking up those intrusive questionnaires that ask tons of stuff, none of which is their business, so people can post it up in their websites (well, actually..i'm suppose to forward it around in an email but you get the idea).

:D

Some Links For The Bored

Etch a Sketch

Am i the only one who thinks this guy spends too much time with his Etch-a-Sketch?

Move

This lil guy who can move your whole screen round....kinda cool...

Trouble waiting to happen

Minister tells people to save water. shower together.

Blog Anon

i've noticed some people come to my site for details of lesbian sex. how could i not with the emails i get with big fat titles saying: PLS TELL ME ABOUT LESBIAN SEX and PLS PUT UP PICTURES OF U & LIS IN BED. too bad. go to blog anon instead she's a lot more descriptive. Also, she has great tits.

WHEEEE

I hereby officially take back any statements i have ever made about wanting a sister instead of a brother. That sweetheart has just told me he's got me a ticket back home for christmas!!! LAlalallalallalala no more christmas alone! i get to see lis soon! WHeeeee..

Of course there's that matter of explaining to my parents why i want to go there at the very season those bombing yahoos will want to strike, what with it being a celebration of the birth of Christ and all that. But who cares? I'm going home! sides, christmas is a good enough reason for anything!

i'm getting ric the biggest bestest christmas gift i can this year! :D

Heh Heh Heh

According to The New Complete Medical and Health Encyclopedia, New York (1982), i might be male:

   

A girl who cuddles too closely to a boy may trigger a response she did not expect and may not want. Depending upon the boy and the status of his sex drive at that time, he might accept the girl's approaches as a suggestion that she is willing to have intercourse or is at least interested in petting. If the girl is simply being frendly, the results can be embarrassing to one or both of the youngsters. If the boy is the type who likes to discuss the details of his dates with his friends, the girl may discover a sudden and unwelcome change in attitude by other boys in the group.

I don't know about everyone else out there, but i had a good time laughing. now i can only think of very few situations where a girl can cuddle too closely to me. One is post coital cuddling in the summer when the a/c isn't working, and you really don't like her enough to make the whole bed a living oven. Secondly is when someone is running past second base and diving for third, or maybe a home run, when in fact they aren't even up for bat. That would probably trigger an unexpected and unwanted response alright. First one would be my kicking someone off the bed, the second would be my favourite attack of jabbing people in the eyes.

And if i were straight and you were trying to get some and cuddling too close then that'd probably call for an eye jab too if you couldn't take a hint.

Furthermore, if a girl doesn't know what the effects of cuddling too close are, and what it implies, then she's just stupid. there really isn't any other excuse for it. even my 2 year old cousins know better than to do that.

As for boys who like to discuss the nitty-gritty with his guys...well there are many ways to fix that if you're not willing to put up with that. putting him down in front of that one asshole friend all guys have is the best. the next time he brags about you and says something like: "And that bitch came crawling back but i told her to fuck off, or "Yup she just couldn't get enough of the Lord of The Labia" that one asshole friend just won't be able to resist adding "that must be why she called your dick the acorn stuck on two peas" or "Oh you mean the one who dumped you cause she just couldn't continue living a lie by dating a jackass that couldn't get it up unless gay porn was playing on tv?"

I'm one of those people who really shouldn't think of dumping others as so much fun. Then again the people that i dump and not break up with were all assholes who probably deserved the dent i put in their social lives and esteem anyway.

I suppose the reason this book is so silly is because it was written in 1982. And here i was thinking america had always been jaded. i guess everyone was naive once. And since i'm going home soon, i shall not bash up the rest of the book :D

Little X Is Literate

Did anyone else see that new craig david video? (look, don't judge my music okay? there are only so many music channels in malaysia).

Now note recurring themes:

A contest is held for four lucky people to enter into the craig david building/factory/whatever the hell it was meant to be. you just need to get that one craig david cd with the golden cover that says you're the winner.

Enter: four girls buying craig david cds. obviously being the spoilt bratty hormonal women that they are, they buy tons to feed their lust for mr craig in the hope that they'll get one of the four magical cds that will gain them access to his building/factory/whatever the hell it was meant to be, and hopefully his loins too.

Of course, they get one of the four winning cds each.

Enter: Craig david comes running out of his...we've been through this...whatever that building is...let's just call it factory...and what's he wearing? a tophat. he looks like a dick prancing around in that.

One by one, the girls get knocked off as they choose the fame, money, and idea of sex with a star over mr craig david, the person himself, till only one lucky girl is left behind.

They shoot off blisfully into the heavens IN A FUCKING LIFT THAT SHOOTS THROUGH THE ROOF OF SAID BUILDING

Thank you mister-director-of-the-video, little x, but unlike the people that must undoubtably make up most of your glitter society, most people have read charlie and the chocolate factory, and recognise plagiarism of ideas.

Note: Of course there was no charlie in the video, because it would be so totally unglamorous for a poor girl to hit it off with craig david in the end. what type of clothes would a poor girl wear anyway?

Note2: In the real world, a gay guy, a crazed homocidal stalker, and two crazy bloggers looking for ways to gain more hits for their website would have gotten the tickets.

Note3: The first girl to get booted off would have been kind of pretty if she wasn't in a craig david video.

damn...hungry...off to scavenge for food...

Fee Fi Fo FUM

A good night out is like having a muse living in your blood. Makes you want to type a lot. ::keffgrasskeffkeff:: Of course, since good nights out without your significant other can sometimes make your significant other a tad worried....okay let's just say i'm giving
up all party drugs for a while for someone's sake.

Yeah yeah yeah....i know it's supposed to be good for me. but we're talking about someone who almost broke up with her (ex) boyfriend because she wouldn't stop eating those raspberry flavoured sweets he hated (we came to an understanding. he learned to like those sweets.). Pardon me if i don't sound thrilled about the idea anyway.

I am now allowed- cigarettes, alcohol and that's it really. I guess waking up to a phone call filled with nothing but hysterical laughter from someone that sounds a whole lot like your girlfriend, and sleazy background sounds from a place countries away tops the list on how to creep out the rest of your day. Especially when your girlfriend already promised you she'd take care of herself in malaysia because you won't be there. and you know your girlfriend loses (the other) half of her mind when she's high.

maybe if i keep telling myself this i'll feel better. sigh. ::picks up tissue. waves a nostalgic goodbye at the things that won't be in my life for some time now::

Aaah the things ya have to do when you're sharing your life with someone else. even if that someone else is the person who convinced 4 other guys to pierce themselves with fishhooks while they were all high themselves on more substances than i can recognise. but it's nice to know she cares.

Too bad it isn't shown in a different way. for the record though, i might feel an unrational relief that she isn't getting loaded around other people while i'm not around. might. :D

But till the effects wear off....i feel a certain blogging itch. pardon me if i sound like a buffoon for the rest of the day.